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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

What If You Knew It Was The Last Time Making Love To Your Partner?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, August 29, 2012

     


As the end of summer approaches maybe your relationship has reached new heights or maybe it’s winding down.  Either way, it seems apropos to share something that’s a bit more introspective courtesy of Rod, the quintessential Guy’s Guy who bats for the ladies by dishing out the truth about men.  Rod is the pseudonym of Max Hallyday, the protagonist in my novel The Guys’ Guy’s Guide To Love.  In the novel, Rod teaches women how to win by penning a column exposing the deepest and darkest dating secrets of men. 

A Dish Served Cold 

Here’s a question men sometime ask each other: Would you want to know when it’s the last time you’re making love to the most beautiful woman you’ve been with in your entire life? Ask any man and he’ll tell you about that special woman he loved and lusted after who now only exists in a lost moment in time. The one who would have stayed at his side if he knew then what he knows now. But he didn’t pay attention until it was too late, and now she’s gone. Would he have wanted to know the truth when he was making love to her that final time? 

As shallow as the question appears, this notion can launch barroom debates among men in any corner of the world. Whether they’re sipping Manhattans at P.J. Clarke’s, drinking punch on the sandy floor of the Rhum Bar in Turks and Caicos, chugging beers around a keg in a musty college frat house, or savoring scotch under the dim lights of the Opal Lounge on Edinburgh’s George Street, it makes no difference. If you’re with a group of guys, and especially if there’s alcohol on hand, this timeless issue will set their tongues wagging. And the endless deliberations over the variables how old am I, how old is she, and are we married only add to the banter. 

How would you, the woman, feel if you knew the man was aware that it was the last time? Would you be turned on by his passion or put off by his desperation? Would he ravish you with such fervor that the beauty of the moment would be lost to a sense of impending doom? For a man, the last time he makes love with the woman of his dreams can be a bittersweet precursor to his own end. 

And it’s not only about the physical aspects of the moment. It’s about everything that was shared the trust, the dreams, and the caring. It’s about the puppy he surprised you with on Christmas morning, the cherry pie you baked on his birthday, and that snowman the two of you built in the quiet following the blizzard. All of this transformed the sex and lust into, well…love

And who knows what the universe has in store? That might have been his one chance to harness all of life’s beauty incarnated into one person. Looks are subjective, but a man knows when he’s captured a shooting star that can carry his dreams across the sky. 

Before you judge, think about it. Are you that different? Like anything else it depends on the individual. But take it from a man who had the elusive opportunity to experience knowing when it was the last time he was making love to the most beautiful woman he had ever been with. In this particular instance, it was a premeditated plan to sleep with someone that I did not plan on seeing to see again. Was it better knowing? I can’t say for sure, but for me, that final time did nothing more than bring closure to what was the wrong relationship. You can relate to that. Was it revenge? No, it was worse because I finally realized that we really weren’t in love in the first place. 

Until next time, 
Rod 

Guy’s Guy of The Week: all the guys who didn't know it was the last time. It's alright. There will be more.

How To Unmask Your Man

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 20, 2012

 
             image courtesy of Warner Bros Pictures


It’s time for Rod to pay a visit again.  You may remember he is the quintessential Guy’s Guy I introduced in an earlier post who bats for the ladies by dishing out the truth about men. Rod is the pseudonym of Max Hallyday, the protagonist in my novel. In the book, Rod teaches women how to win by penning a column exposing the deepest and darkest dating secrets of men called, you guessed it, The Guys' Guy's Guide To Love.  Want to reveal the naked truth about your beguiling man?  Read on…   

Masked Men 

Your letters say that you want the truth about men. I’m warning you – it ain’t pretty. But okay, here it goes. The modern man is weak and increasingly susceptible to temptation. Look at the newspaper and you’ll see how men continue to succumb to their addictions of sex, greed, violence, and hypocrisy. It’s time for women to rule this world in a better way – one man and one relationship at a time. And I’m here to help. 

Fact: Men lie – constantly. They do it to subdue the truth inside their poisoned consciousness. They hide. That’s why you must confront and unmask your man. Think of their heroes – Zorro, Batman, the Lone Ranger, Spiderman. They all wore masks, and for good reason. To hide their identity. Okay, it’s a metaphor, but it’s true. For you to build a successful relationship, you need to unmask your man and make him reveal himself, even if he doesn’t want to show you what’s inside. Don’t let your man get away with secrecy, because regardless of how much time you spend with him, you’ll remain alone if you let him hide what’s inside his heart. Why do men hide? Isn’t it obvious? Because they’re insecure and afraid that they’re not good enough for you. They do it because they can – because you let them. 
 But if you succeed in discovering the truth, you’ll help your man become the person he wants to be – and the partner you deserve. Men need your help more than ever. Now, the good news: You can win. For the same reason a porcupine has quills and a turtle burrows into his shell for protection, women have been equipped with superior intuitive powers. While men waged wars wielding their brute strength and force, women were developing their sixth sense. And the more you trust your gift – the one that tells you “I just know” – the more you’ll be rewarded. 
Here’s a way to supercharge that gift. Men aren’t that complicated, not the way you and your friends think or hope they are. They’re creatures of habit who spend most of their lonely lives thinking about sex, eating, sleeping, drinking, thinking about sex, watching sports, listening to music, playing sports and video games, thinking about sex, and repeating the cycle. That’s about all. Don’t believe me? Just ask. 
An endless stream of available gratuitous sexual imagery, rump-shaking hip-hop videos, and the nihilistic drone of heavy metal music choke the minds and lower the vibrations of modern males. And the declining standards propagated by reality television have taken their toll. Men are caught in a web of misinformation that force-feeds their lowest common denominators. They’ve lost touch with our values and respect for themselves … and for you. 
How can you make it work? Simple – ask questions. And then ask more questions, and in a gentle yet determined way, keep asking, until you've pushed aside their fragile egos and revealed the man inside. And remember, you have to listen to what he says, not judge him. Really listen or else he won’t open up. Then it’s up to you to decide if he is worthy of your love. Sound easy? It is. Whatever answers you receive, even if they’re non-answers, the man is revealing himself. Find out how he feels about everything important in his life. If you stay on him, he’ll be grateful because – more good news – men really want to open up to you. 
When you call at eleven and he tells you that he’s out with a few colleagues above the background noises, that little voice inside you might have its doubts. Start asking him questions. Which bar? What’s the occasion? Who’s there? And don’t forget to follow up the next day, to make sure he was telling the truth. I’m not suggesting that you jack up the poor guy the minute he walks through the door, but over time, you can ferret out the seemingly innocuous information that will tell you what makes men tick. 
Listen to your man – really listen! Then, heed your gift of intuition. When you do, you’ll know if he was out for an innocent night of beers and make bonding or trolling bars in search of a little “something something” while you were curled up in your jammies watching Glee. 
You deserve better. You deserve the best – so start asking questions. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn – the good and the bad. And you’ll discover the man inside of your man. And if your not satisfied with what you find in his heart, let him go. Your heart is too wonderful a gift to open up for anything less than an honest man.  

Until next time,   
Rod


Why Do Men Freak Out When They Hear The Word Relationship?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 06, 2012

 

                    image courtesy of gettheguy.co.uk

Let’s face it. We’ve all been dropped into this crazy world without a guidebook for how to deal with life. No one has the answer for question #1-Why am I here? That is a tough start, but it puts everyone on equal footing. This Guy’s Guy believes that we’re thrown into the fray to get along and make our kooky world a better place: with lots of sex…and love. So why do so many men still react to the word ‘relationship’ like it’s the bubonic plague? 

What women want 

Women are more advanced than men are when it comes to ‘relationships’. They seek and embrace situations where they can bond and grow with a mate. But to their credit, that does not mean that it has to last forever. Women simply want a relationship to work out for the best. Why not? Bonding is sharing and sharing means enjoying a lot of cool stuff while making someone you care for happy. Nice. 

What Men Seek 

Unfortunately, men are less evolved in the ways of love. Lots of guys still view a ‘relationship’ as a cross between a stint on Rikers Island and cutting off beer during hockey season. They fear a ‘relationship’ is going to take them off the market and prevent them from getting it on with all of the hot ladies strutting around the big city. There are so many great women out there! I know the feeling of wanting more and more, but it’s misguided. 

What men don't realize they're missing

Take it from this Guy’s Guy the right relationship is a lot more fun than prowling the clubs every night in search of that Eastern European supermodel who was specifically put on Earth to satisfy your particular sexual proclivities. I think you get the picture, but I’ll say it another way. Relationships are good, and when you are in a relationship with the right woman you can go deeper than you’ve ever imagined and it’s satisfying in a way that lasts beyond a good roll in the hay. Just ask any cool woman, and any cool guy who’s emotionally intelligent. You can take it to the bank, amigo. 

What can be done?

I suggest that guys loosen their ties, exhale, and try drinking deeply from the relationship well. When it’s the right one, it tastes good. And if it’s not right, everyone can move on. Ultimately women don’t want to waste their time with a guy who does not make them feel special, important, or in some definition of a relationship. Yes, the hookups and one-nighters can ignite hot sex and some drama, but women are both intuitive and practical when it comes to relationships. They are not going to give it up for too long without repercussions. Maybe that does not answer that question about why we’re here, but it does let guys know that at some point they need to step up. 

Does your guy embrace being in a relationship? 

A Guys' Guy's Look At Girls' Girls

Robert Manni - Wednesday, May 02, 2012

             

                     Image courtesy of vi.sualize.us       

Just What Is A "Girls' Girl"?

Last week Team GGG2Love nudged your Guy’s Guy following Chelsea Handler’s latest rant about Jennifer Aniston being a “Girl’s Girl” while Angelina Jolie is “the opposite”. I’ll leave out some of her descriptors of the soon to be Ms. Pitt.  Let’s just say that it’s the thought that counts. But it poses an interesting question. If there are Guys’ Guys, why can’t there be Girls’ Girls? Dagnabbit, Team GGG2Love is right again! But I’m no girl and I would not overstep my boundaries at describing what a Girl’s Girl is for women. But, I will do it from the perspective of a Guy’s Guy. Sounds confusing? It’s not. Here’s a snapshot of what Guys’ Guys want in a Girl’s Girl. You can sort it out from there. 

1-    A Girl’s Girl has her own life- She loves being with her man and supports him as he follows his dreams, but she’s no accessory. A Girl’s Girl has her own friends, her own dreams, and her own stuff. She shares it all, but she has earned her independence and it makes her all the more desirable. 
2-    A Girl’s Girl is a friend that you can trust- In the same way dudes can sniff out a phony in their crew; women have an even keener sense of who isn’t trustworthy among their lady-friends. But a Girl’s Girl earns the trust of guys. You can confide in her, knowing that she will keep a secret, even if it is about her friends. If she says she will keep it to herself, she does. Period. Hey, what can I say? I’m an optimist. 
3-    A Girl’s Girl treats your friends respectfully- Most guys have at least one sketchy friend that their girlfriends don’t care for. There are ways of dealing with this, but most of the women I have dated were pretty deft at gracefully elbowing the crazy friend to the side. A Girl’s Girl does not go public with her disapproval. She quietly steers her man away from the “bad” influence. She never confronts the dude in question either. She manages the situation with élan, but she gets the job done.
 4-    A Girl’s Girl doesn’t get roaring drunk and flirt with your buds- We’ve all seen this act before from men and women. A little too much booze and the chains of repression shake loose. Then, it’s on. The result can be cute or mayhem depending on how she handles good old Jim Bean and Jose Cuervo. Bottom line, a Girl’s Girl knows how to manage her booze and her libido…as much as can be expected. 
5-    A Girl’s Girl has cool girlfriends- They say you can judge a person by the company they keep, so it’s only expected that a Girl’s Girl has a nice set of… friends. Maybe they’re hot, maybe not. It doesn’t matter. As long as they are Girls’ Girls, you can have fun hanging with them. And they’ll expect your friends to behave like Guys’ Guys

Guess what? There’s really no difference between a Girl’s Girl and a Guy’s Guy. 

I can handle that. Can you?




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