Size matters. That said, one size does not fit all.

So take these words of wisdom with a grain of salt because every man is different. However, most fit under a fairly big tent when it comes to knowing what they like from a woman. That's not to say that if you don't follow these tips he's going to immediately bolt out of the door and hit the ground running, but you might want to keep these in mind if you want your guy to remain your happy camper. Here are a few starters for your consideration. If you’re not sure about them, ask a guy. Better yet, ask a Guy’s Guy.

1. Keep the sex fresh. 

Most guys fall into patterns concerning what gets them off, both mentally and physically. And we know they are visual. Their preferences could be for women who are super-fit, thick and delish, lean and mean, the girl next store, women on top, yee-haw cowgirl style, leather and lace, cheerleader, she’s the man, whatever. No judgments here. It’s got to work for both of you. But when guys find something they like, they tend to stick with a proven formula. Yes, men are creatures of habit. If you always serve it up to them the same way, most guys will take it and say thank you. Better yet, if you take whatever they like and kick it up a notch, your guy will follow you around like a puppy dog. But remember: it has to work for you both.

2. His stomach is a tried and true path to his heart. 

Yes, guys like to eat and drink. It helps if you enjoy food as much as he does and better yet if one of you likes to cook. And even better yet, that person is you. Most guys today not only know how to cook, but they take pride in their culinary skills. But, sometimes that means being the grill general, not the sous chef, the dessert maker, the baker, the salad dresser, etc. Usually one partner leads the cooking. Yes, I know we're all busy, but guys love to eat a home cooked meal and wash it down with a quality beverage. So if you are so inclined, take charge and every so often feed your guy good, healthy fare. Many single guys live day-to-day by doing take out or the microwave or by grabbing a burger at the local tavern—and that’s it until the weekend. Any help his partner provides concerning food and drink will be welcomed. I promise. If you don’t cook, consider bringing him some healthy take out. And when it comes to drinks, if you and your guy like beer, wine or spirits, drink moderately, but only drink the real good stuff. When you bring home a top-shelf pinot noir—that’s a check plus, my dear.

3. Be supportive of his dream. 

Many guy’s lives seem to be built on waking each day to slug it out at the office. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I’ll bet that deep down every guy has a dream. Maybe it’s been squashed or put on hold by economic necessities, time, or responsibilities to others. But, I’ll bet if you take the time, you can open your man up and encourage him to express his personal goals and aspirations. Frankly, you are probably the only one who is asking him, so it's important and he will be appreciative—as long as you’re sincere and not patronizing. And if he has a tangible goal that he has the ability to accomplish, by all means: be there to cheer him on. That’s what partners do for each other.

4. Give him the benefit of the doubt. 

 Men screw up. A lot. And we usually know when we screw up. The last thing we need is our partner rubbing it in our face. Talk about it, address the core issue and hopefully move on, unless he’s cheating on you. Obviously that's unacceptable and you’ll need to decide if you want to give him another chance or not. You'll know best about that situation so follow your inner compass. I’m not suggesting that you waste your time on a guy who cheats, but every situation is different so find out what drove him into this negative behavior. If it’s a pattern, say "adios amigo". But get the facts. Naturally, there are a lot other situations that guys screw up, but we'll save that for another time.

I hope that’s a start to better understanding guys and managing your relationships. Remember, guys are flawed, but they have promise and need your help to be their very best. 

Our Guy's Guy of the Week is Bob Marley, for always spreading a positive vibration.

Are you doing the things that keep your guy happy?

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The advice I read from the plethora of dating gurus, the more I scratch head and wonder what's really going on.

If men have really become so lame that they need to be reminded that texting photos of their private parts to prospective paramours is a bad idea, then the bar has been lowered too far. Keeping this in mind, I present to you five key areas where men can easily up their game and connect with women.

1. Honesty - This one is numero uno, and for good reason. Besides a Swiss bank account or Ryan Gosling's charm, honesty is probably the most desired trait a woman looks for in a man. And, it's a foundation for being a Guy’s Guy. Simply put, women want men to have goals and be the best version of themselves. If you don’t have honesty committed to muscle memory, you’re going to have trouble with your relationships and with life in general.

2. Reality – So many guys want the bling and the babes, but don’t have much to offer in return. If you’re still living with your Mom, we understand, but don’t expect Beyonce to leave Jay-Z so she can hang in your basement and play video games. For the most part, you usually find a mate that plays at your speed, so if you want a thoroughbred, you better have the chops to beat the competition around the track. Too many young bucks want to date women with bodies like strippers while they have blubber guts from pounding too many McRibs. Get real, amigo.

3. Generosity - Women do not like tightwads. Sure, thriftiness comes in handy, but you’ve got to bust out the cash when you hit it off with the right girl. If she is the right one, she won’t take you to the cleaners.  So if she passes muster after a Chardonnay date, ante up and take her to a nice restaurant and PAY THE BILL. No splitting the check on the first date. And put her in a cab after that good night smooch. Even if she wanted to knock boots, she’ll want to tear you apart if she sees you have control of your urges. Trust me, it will be worth the short wait.

4. Empathy – Guess what? Being a woman is hard. Guys can roll out of bed and show up. Women are pressured into bringing it every day of the week. The clothes, the shoes, the hair, the bag. The list keeps going. And she has to take care of your shit, too. A woman’s work truly is never done. Cut her a break, brother.

5. Integrity – If you say you are going to call her, hit up her digits. If you’re no longer interested in dating her, let her know so she can move on. Don’t use a woman with an open heart. Yes, every guy, including myself, has succumbed to his libido and kept doing the walk of shame with a woman he was no longer interested in for one reason only. SEX. Find another lady.

There are lots more where this came from, but ask yourself or your man if he knows how to man up.

Our Guy's Guy of the Week is wrestler Bruno Sammartino, for his long-overdue election to the WWE Hall of Fame.

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Repeat after me—“I do not hate Valentine’s Day.” 

But, I dread it and I’d like to have a chat with St. Valentine. He might be a saint, but he’s got some explaining to do. The myths behind this man are as confounding as the commercial celebration of love that sprang from his legend. Was he really beaten to death with clubs, beheaded after restoring sight and hearing to the daughter of his jailer, or was his legend a creation of Chaucer? Until the twentieth century, the tales surrounding this enigmatic man were spun more times than a soggy pair of undies in the dryer. Then the corporations saw the dollar signs and produced syrupy greeting cards, milk chocolate hearts, and costume jewelry to build the “brand”. Because it’s a commercialized holiday we’re also subjected to price gouging at restaurants and florists. My informal research found that when most men and women see February 14th and that big red heart on their calendars they panic.

What comes to mind when we think of Valentine’s Day?  

Pressure. If you’re single, Valentine’s Day reminds you very clearly that if you’re not in a relationship that you’re not on the invitation list to life’s love-in. And if you’re in a relationship, then you have to up your game and deliver the goods—big time. Women love flowers and chocolates, and like receiving them unexpectedly… on any other day than Feb. 14th. And if you give her jewelry on V-Day it better be the real stuff.

Men are simple. They love seeing their women dolled up in lingerie, but if her outfit is for the man, then who buys it on Valentine’s Day? Tiptoeing around Victoria’s Secret and sifting through teddies, garters and thongs can be unsettling for a guy. And he probably forgot what size she wears and does not want to make a mistake. You’ve seen the men wandering around the lingerie department, checking out women’s boobs and wondering if they’re the same size as their girlfriend’s. Trust me—men are uncomfortable discussing cup sizes with the sales girl. That’s pressure.

So how can we get through this annual ordeal?

Be flexible and relax. My wife’s birthday is on February 12^th so I’m totally screwed. But there’s hope for others. Experts say that February 14th is the best night for single ladies to get lucky. That’s if they can muster up their posse for a manhunt. So, if you are a single guy, get your butt out on that night. And when you hit the bars for once keep your eyes off the hockey game and on those ladies looking for their slice of man-meat. If you’re a guy in a relationship, buy her a well-deserved pampering at a top shelf spa or cook her a romantic dinner and give her flowers and a hand-written card. If you’re a woman, go with the lipstick and push up bra ensemble to rock his world. Trust me, that’s all he wants. As for me, I’m going to clean the condo before taking my wife out to her favorite raw food restaurant. But I’ll do that on her birthday. Then I’ll wish for February 15th.

Our Guy's Guy of the Week? Who else but Cupid, that naughty little cherub.

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Valentine’s Day is a day most of us dread.

It’s commercial, pressure-filled, exploitive, and most importantly-- forced and unromantic. I’ll leave all of that to next week’s other Valentine’s Day post. But there are two ways to look at V-Day as it gets pitched our way each and every year. Whether it’s chocolate, flowers, jewelry, vibrating panties, weekend getaways, etc.—you name it and they’re selling it in fire engine red. Here are a few suggestions for how to not only cope, but to have fun and share the love. And that’s the point. Valentine’s Day should be about celebrating heart-felt love. Your Guy’s Guy suggests that the best way to make this a special occasion is by personalizing it. That means making it all about your partner…and not about you.

If love is in the air and you want to fan the flames.

If you’re a guy and you want to get intimate with a woman for the first time the tendency is to buy her lingerie, hoping that she’ll wear it for you on Valentine’s Day. Don’t do it. She is more than aware that you want the show. If you consider my suggestions and it’s meant to be, the show will open to rave reviews... and it will go on and on.  Chocolates and flowers and cards and jewelry are always welcomed, but a Guy’s Guy adds intimacy to her gifts that empower them as expressions of love. So instead of doing the expected and buying a printed card at Walgreens, buy her a card that allows you to craft your own special message to her. Remind her of all the things she does that make her special and why you want to get to know her better. Pay attention to the details the way a woman does. Believe me, she will notice and you won’t have to buy her red lingerie. She’ll bring on the black when the time is right and when she does you’d better fasten your seat belt. Other things to consider are attending events together like a sake tasting or a Broadway show that she mentions in passing. Sharing brings couples closer together.

If you want to keep the fires burning.

Again, it is all about personalization. If you buy her jewelry, have it inscribed with a special message. A former paramour once bought me a silver necklace with an understatedly elegant pendant. Nice. When I looked closer she inscribed the underside with, “Love Slave”. Talk about marking your territory. It worked. Of course when my next girlfriend took one look at it, it came off instantly. If you show some effort to personalize your gift when you are in a long-term relationship or marriage, it makes your partner feel appreciated. How about writing down the twenty things she does that make her so special. Why is she so important to your life, what makes her sexy, funny, etc? Make her feel special. That is intimacy.

Wild Cards.

If you’re going down the sexual path remember to make it all about your special someone. That’s where the lingerie and crazy stuff like vibrating panties and sex toys come into play. All good. That said, you want to make sure that there is as much giving as receiving so that the festivities go all night long. I recently read about an “arousal gap’ between men and women. As we all know, men get worked up faster than women do and sometimes guys get too excited too quickly. Along with the little blue pill and its ilk, and the various oils and lotions that help keep the balls in play, there is—believe it or not, a desensitizing spray for dudes called Promescent.  Women like their men to be sensitive, but not that sensitive. And men have been known to go whee-hee--and then oops.  A quick spritz could keep the party in full swing. A real Guy’s Guy wants to make his woman happy. It’s not a race to the finish line; the goal is to arrive at the same time so everyone wins. Remember that Valentine’s Day is all about your partner, so have fun. And play safe.

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Paul McCartney for writing all of those wonderful silly love songs.

Are you making Valentine’s Day all about your partner?

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There are still some glaring misconceptions about men. Here are some truths.

1. We want you to win.

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A recent study by the U.S. Census found that over 43% of Americans between 18 and 49 were single.

And over half of them were women. That number has increased by twenty percent since 1980. Amazing. And, only one person inhabits 46% of households. Well, it’s not the same person, but you know what I mean. So in many ways, we are becoming a nation of singles. There are pros and cons to being single and a bunch of experts and bloggers will tell you about the ever-changing rules of how they to live their life and how you should live yours. Ultimately, what really matters is if you are happy with yourself and the life that you choose.

Your Guy’s Guy remained single for many years. In fact, I was single for so long that at family get-togethers no one even asked me when I was getting married. Now that’s being single for a long time. Then, one day a few years back, I casually mentioned to my Mom that I would be getting married the following year. She was understandably startled, and asked who I was marrying. I told her that I had no idea, but that I knew it would happen. And, surprisingly, I met someone special, got engaged, and was married the following year. I’ve been happy ever since, though that’s not to say that I didn't enjoy my single life.

There are a few ways to be single. First, you can be completely unattached and on your own. Maybe you’re searching for someone or maybe not. Another way to be single is if you are dating. You still consider yourself single and not tied down, except on those special Saturday nights when you play a little cowboy and cowgirl rodeo. Or, you’re in a relationship, but not married, so you consider yourself technically single. Whether you decide to exercise your “single” options is another matter. Let’s look at the pros and cons of each state of being single.

1. On your own.

A lot of guys and many women fall into this category of trolling the bars and clubs and gyms and wherever else you decide to hunt. You're out so much that at home your staples are ramen noodles, a comfy couch, and a media diet of ESPN or DWTS. You’re probably interested in finding a partner, even if only casually and occasionally, but sometimes it's hard work.

I’ve been in this special place, and at times it can be a blast. You are free to go wherever you choose or just sit at home in your sweats and twist open a few cold ones while watching the Knicks game. But over time, you don’t love being alone onthose Saturday nights while your besties are hooked up.

This version of single works better when you're in your twenties than in your forties. By the time you reach forty, you may not mind staying home on a Saturday night. At this stage, you probably prefer snuggling on the couch with an attractive partner who knows how to whip up a great meal and pour a glass of Sancerre more than being alone and stretching out like Al Bundy with one hand tucked in your waistband and the other around a can of PBR. Just sayin’. No judgments, but ultimately, people are meant to be together.

2. Dating.

Some people can date up a storm and they love it. Most men enjoy a variety of partners, especially for a roll in the hay. Women like having a stable of different go-to guys for different activities. Stud boy for sexual release, the intellectual to see that French flick, and maybe a gay friend for lunch. It’s a great time in life and it’s great to mix it up. Usually though, at some point things get complicated and you need to make decisions and do the necessary house cleaning with your group of partners. That can get sticky. I’ll risk being taken to task here, but from my experience, women still are a bit more interested than guys in dating when it leads to a relationship rather than it leading to just more dating. A generalization, but worthy of consideration. And again, no judgments. Whatever works at the time is all that matters.

3. Single, but in a relationship.

We’ve all been here. Because a guy has not put a ring on it, a woman is still technically single. So, she can do as she pleases and date whoever she wants. But does she? This one is tricky for the ladies. At times they remain in a relationship far too long, hoping their guy will pay attention and make a commitment, or not. Many guys still consider the word commitment as a death sentence or form of punishment. They fear settling down. I know that I did. A famous former athlete once said that you can go far deeper in every way with one special lady than when you are juggling multiple partners. Although I loved my variety, I now agree. Women really know how to give when they feel loved, and that’s a wonderful thing.

There are many ways to be single and they can all be good. So can being in a committed relationship. What matters is that whatever status of “singlehood” that you’re currently in, you make it work for you. Make yourself happy first. Then, if you choose, you can share it someone else.

Our Guy’s Guy of the Week is none other than George Clooney—one happily single guy.

Are you in the right stage of “single” to make you happy?

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