Guy’s Guys love television.

It’s part of our DNA. After a day at work or a long run, it’s great to kick back and unwind in front of the tube. That doesn’t mean we’re couch potatoes. Guy’s Guys are active and well informed about the news and pop culture. But, we believe in pacing ourselves and television is a great way to tune in or tune out. Fortunately, with the advent of so many cable channels, the quality of television has risen over the past decade. It’s a writer’s medium.

There have been countless great Guy’s Guy shows over the years, but here is a short list of nuggets culled from over thirty years of staring at a screen that has increased in size, clarity and definition. You can learn a lot about a man by what he watches on television. If he’s addicted to HSN and DWTS, you may want to rethink your relationship. Criteria? The shows must feature guys, demonstrate imagination, and be great for viewing with a hangover. So in no particular order I offer you The Guys’ Guy’s Guide To Great TV Shows.

1.    Mr. Ed - A horse is a horse of course of course. What Guy’s Guy wouldn’t want a talking horse? Mr. Ed was sarcastic, clever, and always helped his owner, Wilbur, get out of jams. Best episode? Mr. Ed tries out for the Los Angeles Dodgers and hits a home run by sliding into home plate. Are you kidding me?

2.    Entourage - Four young bucks take on Hollywood. Sex, drugs, rock n roll and lots of hot women. The cast had chemistry and they knew enough to end the series before it jumped the shark. Most memorable character? Ari, hands down. He gobbled up the screen.  “LLOYD!!!”

3.    The Sopranos - I’m from North Jersey. Got a problem with that? There is an actually a Bada Bing club and Jersey has never been portrayed so truthfully as gangster lifestyle blurs the suburban landscape. I met James Gandolfini in a bar in MePa after season one and drank with him for two hours. When I asked the key to being a great actor, he pointed to his heart and said, “It’s gotta come from here.” True story.

4.   Miami Vice - Talk about changing the game. This Michael Mann production ignited South Beach’s restoration from the doldrums. This was the first show that integrated music into the storylines and it featured so many up and coming actors in guest spots. Remember Frank Zappa playing a coke dealer? How about Bruce Willis and Willie Nelson? The cast? Perfecto. Lieutenant Castillo? Incredible. A true, no-nonsense Guy’s Guy.

5.   Californication - How could your Guy’s Guy not love a bawdy series about a drunken, horn dog novelist who moves from NYC to LA in search of fame and fortune? David Duchovny nails his role as Hank Moody, the writer who takes on the world, and a lot of gorgeous women. Hilarious. But after seven seasons is the show is beginning to lose it way?

6.   The Three Stooges - Mission critical viewing in frat houses across America. For some reason three little guys hitting one another with fish, hammers, and nail guns provides a great release for men in need of balls out laughs. With respect to Shep and Joe Besser, I’m a Curly fan.

7.    Charlie Rose - This man is like a porpoise. He has no shut off switch. He’s on the morning news and an evening interview show on PBS. When does he sleep? And he asks really good questions. Let’s toast our Red Bull to this tireless, brilliant newsman and interviewer. Love the black backdrop. Someday, Charlie, someday…

8.    The Odd Couple - Possibly the ultimate Guy’s Guy show. An advertising neat freak moves in with a lovable sportswriter slob. Instant conflict. Instant laughs, and adult stories that any New Yorker can relate to. I prefer the TV show to the movies, because the show stayed fresh and kept growing on me. I cannot recall a boring episode. That’s special.

9.    The Wild Wild West - There has to be one western adventure shoot em up on the list. Robert Conrad plays James West, secret agent in the 1860’s. Pretty cool concept for the 1960’s. His partner, Artemus Gordon plays a master of lame disguises, but the show is purposely over the top as the two agents travel by train across the west solving federal conspiracies. And who can forget a three-foot tall arch villain named Dr. Miquelito Lopez? Classic!

10.  ESPN's SPORTSCENTER - Guy’s Guys love sports and as annoying as this show can be, it is the first of its kind and remains the gold standard for sports info and highlights. There a innumerable versions and spin offs now, but it’s reassuring that when you need a score for your fantasy league or just want a shot of seeing someone drain a three point shot, Sports Center continues to deliver. 

Well kids, that’s but a sampling of some of the favorite Guys’ Guy’s favorite television shows. So next time you are wondering just who the heck is this man I’m sitting next to look at what shows he’s watching and you may find out that he is in fact a Guy’s Guy. Or not.

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Philo Farnsworth, whom many credit with inventing the television.

Is Your Guy A Guy’s Guy?

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Whether it’s about love, sex, dating or relationships spring is the perfect time for Guy’s Guys to take stock of who they are and where they want to be. Summer, the beach, and bikini weather is right around the corner.  And as the temperature rises, the skirts get shorter. You know the rest. Why reassess? Because it’s healthy, it will keep you on your path, and it could motivate you to connect with some great women. Here are five quick things to keep Guy’s Guys moving forward this spring.

1. Review your contacts.

Like a big old bear, it’s easy to hibernate during the winter. Same old, same old. And it can carry over to your dating life. Oh, it’s Friday night again? Let's hit the same sports bar and ogle the same women. You have your go-to hook ups, but are you really accomplishing anything beyond sharing a few laughs, watching every college football bowl game, and chilling with your buds and a friend with benefits? Ask yourself: is this the best you can do? If the answer is no, take stock in where you are versus your goals—in your career, fitness, or relationships and get cracking. If you find that your lady friends are locked into in the friend zone, then maybe it’s time to dust off your online dating profile. There are many, many fish in the sea, amigo, and that means lots of lovely ladies looking for nice guys. Don’t let your profile get stale and don’t stay posted-up for too long. Take a breather now and then before getting climbing back in the saddle.

Like a big old bear, it's easy to hibernate during the winter. Oh, it's Friday night again? Let's hit up the same sports bar and ogle the same women. You have your go-to hookups, but are you really accomplishing anything beyond sharing a few laughs, watching every college football bowl game, and chilling with your buds and a friend with benefits? Ask yourself: is this the best you can do? If the answer is "no," take stock in where you are versus where you want to be—your career, fitness or relationship goals; and get crackin'. If you find that your lady friends are locked into the dreaded friend zone, maybe it's time to dust off your online dating profile. There are many, many fish in the sea, amigo, and that means lots of lovely ladies looking for nice guys. Don't let your profile get stale, and don't stay posted-up for too long. Take a breather now and then before climbing back in the saddle.

Maybe you've maintained your comfort zone by sharing a relationship with someone you like, but don't like enough. This relationship is more than friends with benefits, but it's become a convenience for both of you. You know something is missing. Hey, knocking boots is fun, but if either the sex or the conversation is lacking, it may be time for the talk. Be a gentleman, but consider moving on.

Sickness begins in the gut. Trust me or do your own research; you'll see that I'm right. And our tendency is to consume lots of comfort food and drink during those cold, dark months. Now that the weather's warm and you want to be active, reassess what you're ingesting. Like a lot of single guys, I've gone through phases where I've sustained myself on ketchup and beer and canned soup. We're creatures of habit. If you can't cut the junk and your small-batch bourbon, at least add fruits and veggies and water to your daily intake. You'll see a difference in your mood and in your waistline. Plus, the ladies notice what you eat and what it does to your body. Just sayin'.

This is a marathon, not a sprint so you've got time to adapt. Spring is the perfect time to take a deep breath, shift gears and try something new. And whatever you do, don't let the media or your friends and family play the fear card with you. Take life by the cajones. There's really nothing to fear but fear itself. Meet lots of new women, reassess your lifestyle and diet, eliminate people and situations that are no longer useful, and chill. Live your life to the fullest. Now that's being a Guy's Guy.

Guy's Guy of The Week: the newest member of the Guy's Guy family—my newborn son, Sky Manni.

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We’re at a critical juncture for redefining men and bridging the communications gap between the sexes.

It’s ironic that with all of our technology, communication between men and women has never been in such a dire state. Over the past thirty years the paths of women and men have changed dramatically. While women have been on straight trajectory of achievement, accomplishment, and long overdue recognition, men find themselves in a tough spot. Although men have never been freer to be whomever they want, it’s also never been less clear who they are. Women are on the move and men refuse to change. There is resentment, a lack of empathy and understanding on both sides. We’re heading in different directions. Enter the Guy’s Guy.

So, What Is A Guy’s Guy?

A Guy’s Guy is a contemporary Man’s Man—a nod to the return of the casual confidence and seductive integrity of the classic male, updated to reflect a belief that everybody wins when men and women can be at their best. A Guy’s Guy welcomes the rise of women, yet competes with them for love, sex, power and money in a time when everyone plays for keeps. Guy’s Guys exude unassuming strength, timeless style, and emotional intelligence. They seek healthy relationships and joyful living. Today’s Guy’s Guy has moved light-years beyond the time when men gave lip service to feminism while struggling to see women beyond the kitchen and the bedroom. Guy’s Guys consider women equal in all ways and treat them respectfully. They don’t patronize women for sex and it’s game on in business with no glass ceilings. 

Why Do Guy’s Guy Matter?

Men are in crisis and risk falling behind if they don’t evolve. How can young men learn what it means to be a man in this rapidly evolving society when they receive such conflicting signals about masculinity that leave them caught between the roid-rage messages of MMA and the tinted moisturizing of manscaping? With Hollywood’s one-dimensional preening power studs, metrosexuals, geeks, and superheroes as role models, many young men are left adrift. Middle-age men fare no better. Traditionally defined by their jobs, the ascension of women and the tough economy has changed everything. Women, more self-sufficient and on the move, will not slow down or step aside to accommodate men’s out of step ideas and constructs. Men need to re-examine their roles and be open to new possibilities where they share the wealth and the burdens. It’s not just up to the men; women need to pitch in as well. Women can help usher in positive change through empathy and understanding as men learn to redefine themselves.

So What’s Next?

This is a wake up call, not a death sentence for men. You’ll find today’s open-minded Guys’ Guys everywhere—learning as they navigate a challenging environment. For a Guy’s Guy, there’s never been a better time to be a man. When men and women can be at their best, everyone wins. Right?

Our Guy's Guy of the Week is John Stuart Mill, a 19th century proponent of women's rights.

Is Your Guy A Guy’s Guy?

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Size matters. That said, one size does not fit all.

So take these words of wisdom with a grain of salt because every man is different. However, most fit under a fairly big tent when it comes to knowing what they like from a woman. That's not to say that if you don't follow these tips he's going to immediately bolt out of the door and hit the ground running, but you might want to keep these in mind if you want your guy to remain your happy camper. Here are a few starters for your consideration. If you’re not sure about them, ask a guy. Better yet, ask a Guy’s Guy.

1. Keep the sex fresh. 

Most guys fall into patterns concerning what gets them off, both mentally and physically. And we know they are visual. Their preferences could be for women who are super-fit, thick and delish, lean and mean, the girl next store, women on top, yee-haw cowgirl style, leather and lace, cheerleader, she’s the man, whatever. No judgments here. It’s got to work for both of you. But when guys find something they like, they tend to stick with a proven formula. Yes, men are creatures of habit. If you always serve it up to them the same way, most guys will take it and say thank you. Better yet, if you take whatever they like and kick it up a notch, your guy will follow you around like a puppy dog. But remember: it has to work for you both.

2. His stomach is a tried and true path to his heart. 

Yes, guys like to eat and drink. It helps if you enjoy food as much as he does and better yet if one of you likes to cook. And even better yet, that person is you. Most guys today not only know how to cook, but they take pride in their culinary skills. But, sometimes that means being the grill general, not the sous chef, the dessert maker, the baker, the salad dresser, etc. Usually one partner leads the cooking. Yes, I know we're all busy, but guys love to eat a home cooked meal and wash it down with a quality beverage. So if you are so inclined, take charge and every so often feed your guy good, healthy fare. Many single guys live day-to-day by doing take out or the microwave or by grabbing a burger at the local tavern—and that’s it until the weekend. Any help his partner provides concerning food and drink will be welcomed. I promise. If you don’t cook, consider bringing him some healthy take out. And when it comes to drinks, if you and your guy like beer, wine or spirits, drink moderately, but only drink the real good stuff. When you bring home a top-shelf pinot noir—that’s a check plus, my dear.

3. Be supportive of his dream. 

Many guy’s lives seem to be built on waking each day to slug it out at the office. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I’ll bet that deep down every guy has a dream. Maybe it’s been squashed or put on hold by economic necessities, time, or responsibilities to others. But, I’ll bet if you take the time, you can open your man up and encourage him to express his personal goals and aspirations. Frankly, you are probably the only one who is asking him, so it's important and he will be appreciative—as long as you’re sincere and not patronizing. And if he has a tangible goal that he has the ability to accomplish, by all means: be there to cheer him on. That’s what partners do for each other.

4. Give him the benefit of the doubt. 

 Men screw up. A lot. And we usually know when we screw up. The last thing we need is our partner rubbing it in our face. Talk about it, address the core issue and hopefully move on, unless he’s cheating on you. Obviously that's unacceptable and you’ll need to decide if you want to give him another chance or not. You'll know best about that situation so follow your inner compass. I’m not suggesting that you waste your time on a guy who cheats, but every situation is different so find out what drove him into this negative behavior. If it’s a pattern, say "adios amigo". But get the facts. Naturally, there are a lot other situations that guys screw up, but we'll save that for another time.

I hope that’s a start to better understanding guys and managing your relationships. Remember, guys are flawed, but they have promise and need your help to be their very best. 

Our Guy's Guy of the Week is Bob Marley, for always spreading a positive vibration.

Are you doing the things that keep your guy happy?

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I keep getting asked this question, and it’s a good thing because in a world where men have never been as free to be whoever they want, it’s never been less clear who they are.  Once again, simply stated, a Guy’s Guy is a contemporary Man’s Man, with a nod to a return to the casual confidence and seductive integrity of the classic male, but updated to reflect the belief that everybody wins when men and women can be at their best. A few months ago I posted a partial list of all things Guy’s Guy—the likes and dislikes.

So without further ado, I submit the second installment, the sequel if you will, of all things Guy’s Guys. And yes, since a Guy’s Guy is flexible and open-minded, this list is subject to change.

A smile from across the room, Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, winning a piece of new business, your father’s laughter, a sweaty workout after a long night, homemade smoothies, early Sunday morning in NYC, flip flops, the Jolly Roger, The Eagles first album, that first dive and last dives into the ocean each year, grilled fish, reruns of Mister Ed when you’re hung over, reeling a feisty bluefish into the boat, that broken-in leather belt that goes with everything, connecting people and seeing it all work out, a pair of freshly broken-in running shoes, a fluffy towel after a hot shower, your fantasy football draft, fish tacos, sex in the morning, outdoor cafes in May, when technology makes life easier, driving the green, that first kiss, women with toned bodies, active listening, vintage acoustic guitars, summer wind, kids playing, aloe plants, waking up next to someone you love, Jeff Bridges movies, always having a great joke to tell, content over curating, radio, heels and shapely calves, peaceful solutions, going for it, organic, Joe Frazier, pancakes with real maple syrup, the heavyweight championship of the world on the line, your own personal style, that go-to pair of jeans, Orchard Street south of Delancey, dark rum, free weights, a good night’s sleep, three-run homers.

Unnecessary sequels of bad movies, not showing up, standing inline, insufficient fare on your Metro card as the C train pulls into the station, dirty looks from the bartender when you order a club soda, rushing to cross the street as the light changes while pushing a stroller, not qualifying a sales lead, covering your ass with email, paying retail for clothing, retail workers talking to one another other while you’re waiting to pay, greeters at banks (WTF), reality shows about hillbillies and swamp people, not saying “thank you” when someone does you a solid, OMG, unlabeled GMO foods, “who are you wearing?”, skinny jeans on dudes, light beer ads that think they’re clever, big dogs forced to live in little apartments, white flour/rice/sugar, a weak clammy handshake, cigarettes, ads using dogs (lazy), steroids (WTF), sugary breakfast cereal that claim they are good for you, obviousness, violent video games, fear-inducing media, watching too much sports (really), trash talk, teams that run out the clock at the end, of the first half, waking up to construction noise on the weekend, the weeks between the Super Bowl and March Madness, chasing fashion, air kisses, artificial sweeteners, uninspired kisses (why even bother).

I could go on and on and on, but that should suffice for now.

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is LeBron James. Even if you're a Knicks fan, but you've got to give him props. The “King” is on a roll.

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Films and Guy’s Guys go hand-in-hand.

Men like cutting to the chase and although at times we come across as blunt instruments, men everywhere love the power of story to make their point.  Story can live in a documentary as well as a fictional tale, and as each decade in film has evolved, so have men. Films for Guy’s Guys hold great meaning as they reflect aspects of their life, love and the pursuit of happiness. If you are a woman and you often ask yourself why guys like certain movies, you might find that they probably—okay, hopefully have a few themes in common regardless of the genre. They are truth, integrity, and courage. These are traits that most men aspire to, but are challenged to achieve regardless of the time frame.  Other criteria—great dialogue, humor, positivity.

So without further ado, in no particular order, here are ten of my favorite Guy’s Guy movies.

10. Point Break: Dirty Dancing aside, arguably the underrated Patrick Swayze’s best performance as a surfer, Svengali, surfer-crook, Bodhi, who squares off against Keanu Reeves’s undercover FBI agent, Jonny Utah. Amazing Guy’s Guy dialogue: "If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love."

9. Swingers: The introduction of Vince Vaughn as Trent, a flawed friend and womanizer to Jon Favreau’s Mikey.  Mikey is the Guy’s Guy who learns how to let go so the right things can enter his life. Brilliant script, on-point dialogue and a positive, yet non-sanctimonious message that leaves guys uplifted. "You’re so money and you don’t even know it."

8. Rocky: The original is a masterpiece. Each overlooked character (Rocky, Mickey, Adrian, Paulie) has the same challenge—getting their long, overdue opportunity. What most viewers fail to remember is that Rocky lost the fight, despite going the distance. But that’s what counts—a true Guy’s Guy message.  "And if I can go that distance, ya see, and that bell rings, ya know, and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, ya see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood."

7. Jerry McGuire: Let’s admit it. Tom Cruise can act. In this tale of maintaining integrity in a disingenuous business, Jerry takes his one client and finds a way to keep rolling while learning how to be a better man. Wonderful Guy’s Guy stuff.  "I hated myself.... No, I hated my place in the world."

6. The Pope of Greenwich Village: A pre-The Wrestler Mickey Rourke stars as, Charlie, an Italian-American who lives on the fringes of the mob and is at a crossroads. Yes, life is all about the choices we make. This one takes a deep dive on the meaning of friendship. Eric Roberts’ over-the-top performance as Paulie steals the show. An underrated Guy’s Guy classic. "Outgrow him? I dunno Diane, Maybe WASP's outgrow people. I'm Italian. We outgrow pants, not people." 

5. Silver Linings Playbook: In a movie culture built around superheroes, violence, franchises and sequels SLP shatters the usual boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, rom-com template. Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence shine in the adaptation from Matthew Quick’s excellent, yet under-the-radar 2008 novel about love and the power of positive thinking.  This is the Guy’s Guy rom-com…for now. Just wait. "I am practicing being kind over being right."

4. Groundhog Day: Bill Murray stares in this comedy classic that tackles the theme of creating our own reality in a non-preachy way. This is one of those movies that you can jump right into and watch whenever it pops on the screen when you’re surfing the dial. It’s that good. "I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it's always February 2nd, and there's nothing I can do about it."

3. Wall Street: Come on. You like this movie. It captures the late eighties culture as well as anything has, maybe with the exception of Flock of Seagulls. Charlie Sheen’s Bud Fox takes on Michael Douglas’s Gordon Gekko in a high-stakes game of money manipulation and perception.  They battle to a draw, but Sheen keeps his soul in tact. "The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do."

2. On the Waterfront: Yeah, this is real old school, but it gets right into man’s moral fiber and how decisions define one man from another. Brando is at his finest as he takes on the mob, love, and morality. Heavy-duty Guy’s Guy themes abound. Yeah, he could have been a contender. "Conscience... that stuff can drive you nuts!"

1. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: The ultimate western features Clint and Eli Wallach’s classic Tuco in a three-way battle over a chest of gold and a game of life and death that’s full of tasty twists. This sprawling film is underscored by a deep anti-war theme. Eastwood is only referred to as Blondie and only has fifty-seven bits of dialogue, but they all hit the mark. "You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."

Yes, I omitted Scarface, The Dirty Dozen, Walk The Line and so many other great Guy’s Guy films. The point is there are so many wonderful pieces of celluloid that help interpret and define men. Thanks to all these great movies for the quotes.

Do you have a favorite Guy’s Guy film?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Sly Stallone for writing Rocky, and having the cajones to insist on the starring role.

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Turn on any media outlet and there is a show built around judging others.

 When Survivor made its debut over ten years ago, the winning contestant was the person who demonstrated the best survival skills in the classic sense—successfully foraging for food in the jungle while avoiding getting nipped by a crocodile. Over time, the template seems to have changed to get rid of the most skilled contestant and form “alliances” that determine who will be the next person to be backstabbed by a small coalition of players who come together to destroy the others. Yes, watching the drama unfold can be fun, but I think you can see how the game has changed. And this mentality has permeated many other areas of our modern lives, for better, but mostly for worse.

Reality television keeps rolling throughout our culture.

Most reality shows fall into one of three categories—those featuring people we feel superior to (Swamp Brothers, Hillbilly Handfishing, Jersey Shore, Honey Boo Boo, Buckwild, and on and on) shows that make us aspire to live like the cast (Kim and Kourtney Take Miami, Vanderpump Rules, The Real Housewives of…, Top Chef, The Millionaire Matchmaker etc.), and the competition shows (Chopped, Cupcake Wars, Iron Chef, Amazing Race, American Idol, The Voice, etc.)  What all of these media offerings have in common is that they are built around judgment. I hate her, his food sucks, what a loser, you’re chopped, and so on. It’s all about I win, you lose, he sucks, whatever. All of these programs are built around conflict, which is a core component of storytelling, but life is not all about conflict and our culture is more than a story.

How the culture of judging has embedded itself into our culture.

I’m as competitive as the next Guy’s Guy, but I prefer competition to result in growth and improvement. Competition in business is healthy.  Consumers weigh in and companies launch or evolve their products. Most products are sold based on how they meet that consumer need. They usually stand on their own without trashing the competition. Sure in a few cases this has worked, but it has been done playfully as in the successful campaigns ads for 1800 tequila and Apple.

But it’s not quite the same nowadays with the people in business. People call when they need something. If not, it’s rare to hear from anyone or get a call back from even people you know. People are busy, but courtesy has taken a backseat to expediency and the new attitude of judging what’s in it for me? That’s a result of our judgmental culture. People too often see others as commodities and means for rewarding themselves, and that’s it. Friendships are few and loyalty has been reduced to a cherished and rare commodity.

Unfortunately, the excessive sniping and clawing and rejecting that predominates much of reality television permeates people’s behavior in the real world. The online dating world can be a cold place. You can dump someone without ever interacting with him or her again.  Just delete them and move on. Feelings? What? Many online players are serial daters who are endlessly getting laid and trading up. His checklist and her checklist are all that matters. If you don’t stack up, you’re out. That’s just the way it is for many folks, but you do not have to live that way.

What can we do?

We all have free will and can chose to live life our own way. And that’s how it should be. Guy’s Guys and their female counterparts take the time to get to know people and are mindful about treating others with respect. It’s so easy to judge, but have you ever noticed the empty feeling inside when we trash another person? Yeah, we’ve all done it. The question to ask yourself is have you imagined yourself as the target of someone else’s judgments? Think about it next time you’re about to go negative.

Our Guy's Guy of the Week is Thich Nhat Hahn—one of the most respected Zen masters in the world.

Are you doing what it takes to transcend our culture of judgments? 

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Now showing: “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters”. Really.

My blog posts focus on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Last year I focused on interpersonal relationships and a better understanding between men and women. I will continue with these posts because I believe that we need to come together one person and one relationship at a time. But, today I am taking a time out to talk about life and our pursuit of happiness.

With so much discussion focusing on the horrific school and movie-theater shootings and calls for gun laws revisions, its troubling that our pop culture is going out of its way to feed the violent beast within our collective consciousness. I’m not sure what to do about gun laws, but obviously they aren’t working. The rub is that history (albeit prior to the availability of automatic weapons) warns us about the risks of disarming the people and the value of the second-amendment. This Guy’s Guy does not own a gun. I’m not a hunter, I don’t shoot skeet or targets, and I sincerely hope that I will not attract a situation where I need a gun to protect my family. That said, I believe in the second amendment—within reason. Nowadays, it’s very easy to buy heavy-duty arms, especially since the assault rifle ban was lifted in 2004. I don’t have a perfect solution for registering and monitoring the physical arms many feel a need to carry. But, I do have some thoughts about the Gatling gun of violent images that spews our way in the news and in our choices of entertainment starting at a very young age.

Are we desensitized to violence in America?

As I walked past a series of movies posters upon exiting the C train yesterday, it struck me how many new films feature violence to attract interest. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is clearly an amped up twist on the fairy tale. I’m sure took its lead from last year’s successful, Snow White and the Huntsman which was quite the gore-fest. The poster for Ah-nolds’ return to the screen, The Last Stand, features the recent governor blasting away with a gigantic automatic weapon.  Django Unchained?  Tarentino is a brilliant auteur, but his films are usually built on stories about violent retribution.  The five top-grossing films of 2012—Marvel’s The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, The Hunger Games, Skyfall, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part Two all had buckets of blood spilling from beginning to end. Make no mistake; these are all stories well told, but they all overflow with death, blood, and retribution. Me? I liked Silver Linings Playbook and The Intouchables, great, non-violent films that served up positive messages without sanctimony. Yet, these films are having challenges finding their audience.

Do I need to mention video games?

Whether you like to play or have a kid that plays video games, you have to admit that a majority of top-sellers center on killing opponents. What also bugs me about video games is that they are predominantly built on reacting, not thinking. I see so many people playing these games on the subway, mesmerized by their screens. I’m a certified advanced clinical master hypnotist and this is hypnotism. This Guy’s Guy is glad to have grown up before the advent of today’s video games.  My mom pushed my out the back door at 9am and only called me in for lunch or when it got dark outside. I rode my bike, played sports, built tree houses, played games like Stratego, chess, and backgammon, and most importantly read tons of books. I’m glad I grew up then, but then again, we live in the now.  So what can we do?

It’s all connected. Use your judgment and consume in moderation.

Even if my generation didn't grow up with video games or ultra-violent films, a lot of us made fortunes from selling them so we’re no better. I suggest the best tonic for living in an aggressive society that feeds and thrives on violence is to be circumspect about the amount of media we consume. At times, the news broadcasts are automatic weapons spurting skewed reporting, violence, and fear to attract and maintain their audiences. It’s a form of storytelling. And storytelling is about conflict, people. No one tunes into the news when everything is just peachy. It needs friction, and baby; we’ve got a world full of friction to draw upon.

So consume your news and your media, be careful how much you take in, and READ. The networks are built to sell ads. It’s an advertising-based model. Ads and eyeballs bring in the cash. Happy people don’t sell. Misery and violence sells. It’s that simple. Think about that next time you hear, “Gruesome murder in the Bronx. Details at six.”

Are you overdosing in your consumption of violent media?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is The Dali Lama—a leader is positive thinking and a proponent of non-violence.

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“Hey, just what is a guy’s guy, anyway?”

That’s a fair question that I hear a lot.  In an age where men have never been freer to be whoever they want, it’s never been less clear who they really are. Enter the Guy’s Guy, an updated, more casual, less macho version of the traditional Man’s Man. And unlike his predecessor, today’s Guy’s Guy celebrates the overdue recognition of women and sees their ascension as inevitable and a win-win for everyone.  And there is a need for Guy’s Guys. Young men lack role models and middle-age dudes are being increasingly overlooked or demonized for the past sins of their predecessors (thanks, Newt). But, that’s show biz. I think we’d all agree that women would welcome a return of masculinity, but in a more circumspect and open-minded form. Some Guy’s Guys traits are casual confidence, seductive integrity, timeless style, and emotional intelligence. There’s more, but that’s for another blog post.

So to help clarify what is and what is not representative of today’s Guy’s Guys, in no particular order, here is my subjective list, which is always subject to change. Drum roll, please…

Stuff Guy’s Guys Like

Convertibles, mutts, a great pair of legs, wooden shoe trees, ice pops, margaritas while looking out over the ocean, knowing that the back page of the newspaper has the good news, Thanksgiving, summer dresses, the World Series, sex,  Steve McQueen, wiffle ball, holding hands, a perfectly poured Guinness, the beach, “Swingers”, a long run, football weather, sleigh riding, your Mom, Bob Marley, clean sheets regardless of their thread count, sinking your putt on a par five, a handshake deal, sex, Central Park, breakfast over brunch, Bukowski, the NFL Playoffs, “Chopped”, kids, tee shirts and jeans, fit women, vinyl, Bobby Darin, East Coast, salty snacks, fishing, passion, “Sideways”, books, tools, fish, random acts of kindness, animals, sleeping, morning wood,  crisp C-notes, iPhones, sunshine, waking up early, avocados, broken-in Levis, 70’s movies, “Siddhartha”, independence, World Cup, Rolling Stones, black bras and thongs, Clint Eastwood westerns, cash, the Rat Pack, surfing, that old leather jacket, Mexican food, New York, the smell of a fresh cut lawn, sweat, playing hoops without a net, mountain bikes, women on top, loyalty, acing a presentation, Jennifer Lawrence in “Silver Linings Playbook”, rock music with a horn section, sunset, knowing when to shut up, confident women, a 10 handicap, free wifi, the zoo, sixties television series, Sunday mornings, a clean bathroom, anything in a burger bun, pets, integrity, “The Sopranos”, Super Bowl Sunday, St Patrick’s Day, summer nights, jazz, having a woman as your best friend.

Stuff Guy’s Guy Don’t Like

Housewife shows, matrix management teams, Honey Boo Boo (WTF?), newscasters standing up, automatic weapons, last call, pralines, gossip, the Twilight series (sorry), passive aggressive women, emoticons, retargeted ads, iced wedding cake vodka, People’s Choice Awards (WTF?), cupcake worship, walking while texting, the fine print, insurance companies trying to be your friend, music acts that can’t play instruments, hyper-cuts and edits on ESPN, reverse mortgages and the actors who tout them, crème fraiche, Starbucks addictions, fast food, ballet flats on hot chicks, hard stops, “I’m a branding expert”, style over substance, lying, political war hawks who never served, phonies, girlfriends who flirt with your best bud, micro-managing, only hiring people who can’t take your job, smoking, reneging on deals, media that propagates fear, those animal hats with really long ears, dividing up the check to the penny, white furniture and shag carpets, owners of small yappy dogs that leave them in their apartments all day, overpriced brunch, cheap stereo equipment, Kathy Lee Gifford, the MTA, litter, people who keep their cell phone on speaker, hard drugs, long lines, bad pizza, jury duty, people who swear in front of kids, drunken NY Jets fans, procrastination.

As mentioned, these are directional and subject to change at any time. Who knows, maybe I’ll be selling reverse mortgages someday. Nah.

Do you agree with how a Guy’s Guy sees his world?

This week’s Guy’s Guys of the Week are the folks at Google who are giving sections of Manhattan free wifi.

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