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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

The Guys' Guy's Guide to Forgiveness

Robert Manni - Friday, September 19, 2014

People screw up. In fact, people screw up a lot.

We’ve all been jerked around, stabbed in the back, had our hearts broken, and been betrayed. It’s part of the human experience. But, these trials are opportunities for growth. Some say that there are no coincidences and life is one big schoolroom. People cross our paths to teach us what we need to know, even if the lessons are painful. So we need a way of dealing with people’s misdeeds. It’s called forgiveness and it comes from the heart. That does not mean condoning asshole behavior, allowing it to continue, or failing to take preventative measures so it does not happen again. Nope. We do what’s necessary to protect ourselves, while forgiving and releasing the offenders from our energetic realm. With this in mind, I offer my Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Forgiveness. I know life is hard and we’ve all been tempted to slap certain people upside their heads. But forgiveness is a critical part of a Guy’s Guy DNA.

Why forgive?

None of us are without fault. We’ve all done bad things to our fellow man. Maybe these misdeeds were unintentional, but we’ve all been subservient to our egos and wronged someone. We’re human. We’re also all connected in vibration. That means all of us are equally deserving of universal love. So what does all this have to do with being a Guy’s Guy? Guys’ Guys have a duty to make the world a better place. Forgiveness is a wonderful path of ascension. It aids our physical, emotional and spiritual health while releasing toxins and low vibration energy. Forgiveness also helps us see ourselves in others, even if we would not necessarily handle certain situations the same way. We do not know their path or their pain. And again, people mess up all the time so we need to forgive, even if it seems impossible at the time of the transgression. Carrying around anger and resentment or reacting in an equally bad way continues a cycle of negativity and impacts our health. Do we want the effects of someone’s bad behavior compounded by our internalizing their misdeeds? It’s a double whammy to avoid.

How do we forgive?

It’s easy. Take a deep breath, exhale, and release the person in question from your consciousness. I’m not suggesting that we forget what they have done. I am only suggesting that we forgive them. An eye for an eye results in a lot of one-eyed people. This is about letting go and moving on. The best way to deal with people who wrong us is by not engaging them in the future and not internalizing their bad behavior.  Carrying around anger and pain also empowers the other person, and that’s the last thing you want to do. There are many ways to forgive. Here are a few that work for me. When someone does me wrong I say to myself, “I’m sorry ____ is not the way I wanted him or her to be. I forgive them and set them free.” It helps me energetically and it also frees the other person. Maybe they can learn from this. I do not want to create ill will towards this person anyway because it will boomerang back to me. It’s better to forge ahead and seek like-minded people. I have found that since I have made forgiveness a daily practice I continue to meet people whose energy is more in line with mine. Meditation is also great way to forgive and let things go. As always, I put myself in a relaxed state. I begin by forgive myself, acknowledging my mistakes and how I may have unwittingly hurt others. I may be a Guy’s Guy, but I screw up as much as the next person. Then I mentally review specific time periods in my life. In my mind’s eye, I wait for individuals who have done me a disservice to appear. Let me tell you, it’s a long list. I face each one, tell them how I feel about what they did, and forgive them. I release them from my consciousness and they disappear. The process takes only a few minutes and I find it very cleansing. Just make sure to always forgive yourself. I realize that forgiveness can be challenging. But once I got the hang of it, forgiving others became easier. And somehow the world didn’t feel like such a terrible place.

Have you forgiven those who have trespassed you?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Paul Ferrini. His book, “The 12 Steps of Forgiveness” provides a practical blueprint for the art of forgiveness.

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