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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

The Guy To Avoid - Part One

Robert Manni - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

   
    Image Courtesy of www.beirutnightlife.com
Now for something a little different: I’d like to introduce Rod, the quintessential Guy’s Guy who bats for the ladies by dishing out the truth about men. Rod is the pseudonym of Max Hallyday, the protagonist in my novel. In the book, Rod teaches women how to win by penning a column exposing the deepest and darkest dating secrets of men called, you guessed it, The Guys' Guy's Guide To Love. I would like to share the first one with you here.

The Guy to Avoid - Part One 

Last time we met I made a few promises. But you know about men and promises. In future columns, I'll give you behind-the-scenes looks into the lives of men in this city and the ways they get you into bed. But before I begin, you need to be honest with yourself. You're part of the problem. If you weren't so intent on having everything your way, right now, you'd be able to protect your heart from a guy who's made a science out of the art of seduction. 

There are lots of good guys out there, but how exciting is that? We've all heard that nice guys come in last. But part of their cellar dwelling is because of you. It's understandable. People respond to clever advertising and slick packaging. And as smart and intuitive as you are, there's always that one guy who convinces you to break your rules. I'm not referring to "The One." No, I mean that OTHER one - "the guy to avoid." He's the game changer. The guy who cracked your pin code and hijacked your password. Deep down you know that he was wrong for you, but you let him in anyway.

Maybe you met at a friend's party, or business function, or in the parallel universe known as online dating. It doesn't matter. He sold you a bill of goods, sweet-talked you out of your panties, and was gone. Don't be embarrassed. It happens all the time.

Guys know him, too. We all have a friend like that. He's good-looking, quick-witted, athletic, and fun to be around. The social connector. And even if he seems to work half as hard as we do, he gets twice as much in return. 

We know that when we're in his company we've joined an exclusive fraternity that gets us near the prettiest girls and into the hottest clubs.  He's a cool guy, and although this isn't a man-crush, there are benefits to being his friend. That is, until we leave him alone with our girlfriends. Then we find out the hard way, too.

When you met him, it was the same. His eyes sparkled and his stories made you laugh. He seemed sensitive. He traveled, had a good job, dressed well, and lived in a great apartment that was clean and filled with really cool stuff. Your first date was short and fun. A second glass of Sancerre at a bustling lounge and then a quick bite to eat because you were having such a great time and he didn't want you to leave. At the end of the night, he leaned over and stole a kiss after hailing you a cab. 

On the second date, he takes you to that hot new fusion place in MePa where the staff smiles at you approvingly and whisks you to a prime table. He takes charge of everything, picks a wonderful bottle of wine, and again keeps you laughing throughout dinner. There's no waiting in line at the club and the champagne makes you feel sexy, so you cut loose and grind on him a little on the dance floor. This is how a date should go. And then you give into his soft lips and deep soulful kisses in the back of the cab. But what flips your switch is the way he looks into your eyes and tells you how different he feels and how comfortable he is around you. So you go back to his place, and when it feels right, he leads you into his room. You slip off your dress and you ravage one another all night. The next morning, after making love a second time, he cooks you breakfast. You're thinking that this is different and he might be "The One." Then, an hour later, you're sitting in a cab wearing the same clothes you wore the previous night, already wanting to call him. A day goes by and you wait, and then wait some more, but he doesn't call. So you phone him and your call goes directly to voice mail. This can't be happening, not to you. So you call again. No response. Later, your self-esteem reaches a new new low while you type that e-mail - the one where your emotions get so tangled up that you're not sure what you can say without sounding like a pathetic fool. But he never replies, and finally the reality hits you in the gut. You've been had. 

I'm sorry. Did that upset you? I'm sure it did, because I know how much you give and how much "The Guy to Avoid" takes. But you're too smart and work way too hard to let yourself be used that way ever again. And please try not to take it out on the next guy. Hang in there with me and I'll break this down further when we get together again. And that's a promise. Maybe nice guys aren't so bad after all. 

Until next time,
Rod 
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