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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

How to Score Dates While Sitting at Home in Your Tightie Whities

Robert Manni - Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Image courtesy of Egan Snow

Hey guys, I’d like to share a few tips on how to meet cool, smart women online. You know, the kind of lady that you probably have admired from across the bar or from the squat rack at the gym, but were not quite sure how to approach. The beauty of online dating for men is that you can relax and plan your introduction without pressure. If you don’t feel like corresponding with her today, she might be in that same location tomorrow. Or maybe not. But why wait when it’s so easy to make your move and connect with her?

1- Read her profile. Twice. 

That’s correct. A lot of dudes flip through the photos and only pay attention to the hottest of hotties only. Tsk, tsk. Of course you want to connect with a young lady that strikes your fancy, but there is a world of important subtext once you dig into her profile. And I assure you that she will be reading your profile very carefully when you send that greeting her way.

You can learn a lot by reading about her. Besides the usual background info and status(avoid ‘separated’ if possible-that can mean she’s in a bad marriage and just scoping the scene), check out what’s going on in her world, and see how much she talks about herself.  Does every sentence begin with “I”?  If the answer is yes, move on.  Same thing if she states anything negative in her profile. That’s a signal for you to turn the page. If someone cannot make it through writing their online advertisement without going negative, imagine how that will spool out on dates with her.

2- Look for someone who knows what she wants. 

Does she mention what she is looking for in a partner or is it all about all about her and the places she has traveled? Does she offer up anything that acknowledges that online love is a two-way street? You’ll probably have to read between the lines a bit, but it’s important to find out if she gets it. To me, no matter how good looking she might be, if you cannot get a good sense of he and the qualities she’s looking for in a guy, it’s a red flag. Same thing if she is too specific. But if she only wants to date accordion players from Alsace Lorraine, at least you’ll know that you don’t fit her specs.

3- No winks. 

Really. Dude, winks are for the ladies. And most women will send a line or two if they’re interested.  Guys need to step up. Tell her that you enjoyed reading about her and that you think she’s pretty and then comment on something in her background info that you can connect with. “Yes, I love Korean BBQ too.”

4- Always ask her a question to make it easy for her to reply. 

And I don’t mean, “Has anyone every referred to you as a spinner?” Come up with an inquiry about her trip to Iceland or that belly dancing class she takes, but without an innuendo about your personal expertise at wiggling below the waist. Take the high road and she’ll see that you are a gentleman.

5- Spelling counts. 

Yes, women pay attention to details and usually have excellent written communication skills. Review your note before sending it on and ask yourself if you would respond to it if you were her. If you are feeling a groove, add a little humor, but again, no sexy time talk. Show her your smooth side and then see if she responds.

6- Never write in all caps. 

I’m sure this is obvious to most, but it’s surprising how many people commit this faux pas which means they are yelling at someone. Bad sign if they do not know this. That’s a sign of not paying attention. Move on, quickly.

7- And, of course, make the first move.  

Show her that you’re interested.  I’ll leave it at that. Good luck.

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