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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

5 Easy Steps to Get A Response From Your Initial Online Correspondence

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Image courtesy of Tom Taylor

After making all the decisions to create your fascinating online persona for that dating website, the real challenge begins. And you’ll need a plan.

1- No Winks.

After reading and carefully reviewing her profile and photos and determining if she’s a “person of interest”, send her a brief─that means shorter than the U. S. Constitution─note that explicitly expresses your interest in engaging in some friendly dialogue and implicitly expresses your desire to meet her in person.

2- Lead with a positive.  

Always tell her that you enjoyed reading her profile. Know that she’ll probably go right to yours and check out your photos. Don’t take this personally. You’re not a piece of rump roast to her, but she probably gets more online action than you do─ by a good measure─ because guys are still more aggressive when it comes to overtly pursuing the opposite sex. If you pass her ocular test─yes, ladies can be visual, too and they most likely won’t waste time if they don’t connect with your looks and vibe even if you write like Longfellow.

3- Tell her a little bit about yourself and find common ground. 

I said a little bit, not how you won the spelling bee in the fifth grade. Save that for when you are driving to her house for Thanksgiving. And mention some things about you that are relevant to her interests and what she is seeking in a dude.  You enjoyed visiting Kuala Lumpur, too? Mention the race track in the city and eating durian fruit.  This way she’ll know you’re for real, paying attention to her profile, and not just contacting her because of that revealing pic of her in that snakeskin manokini.  In fact, don’t mention that photo even if she’s built like Pamela Lee.

4- Ask her a question. 

Better yet, ask her an open ended question, so there’s an opportunity for some tasty dialogue. And by all means, make it as clever and insightful as possible to peak her interest and demonstrate your written communication skills. You’ll have to handle this part on your own.

5. End by telling her that you are interested in learning more about her. 

This sounds obvious, but so does holding the door for a woman. You’d be surprised how many guys don’t paying attention to the details. And women are all about the details.

And for now, no last name, no phone number, no invitation to go skiing. This is where you want to leave things for now. Save those other bits for after she responds to you. That’s where the real fun begins because if she responds, she’s telling you that she’s interested in learning more about you. Then you’ve got your shot at the title. Now go for it.

Do you think you can follow these five easy steps?

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