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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

4 Must-Dos To Get That Second Date

Robert Manni - Wednesday, July 25, 2012


After connecting online and finessing a great first meet up, what does a Guy’s Guy do to make sure he secures the next date? “Just don’t throw up on his shoes.” That’s what an ex-boss advised me before my meeting a potentially game-changing new client.  It looked like a slam-dunk, but in advertising clients have the final say, and I needed the gig. The meeting went fine, but I was reminded to never take anything for granted. It’s the same in dating.   You sent her email and she responded. Then after a quick exchange you connected by phone and you both liked the sound of each other’s voice. So you met at Craft Bar for a glass of Riesling. Lots of laughs and eye contact. You’re thinking that she is awesome. Then comes a second goblet of wine and possibly a savory appetizer to wash down. Okay, that’s enough for the first meeting. Now what?  

1 – Know When To Say Good Night.

I don’t relish coming across as Ms. Manners for dudes, but the world was a simpler place when Ms M. was doling out her advice. After a couple of glasses of vino, you both might feel super comfy and think that you really know one another. Guess what? You don’t. Of course you have to follow your inner compass when deciding if sharing a light dinner with her is in order, but your Guy’s Guy says “proceed with caution”. You had a nice time. You already won. Don’t be greedy. So, pick up the tab, unless she insists on splitting it, help her with her jacket, and always hail a cab for her. Make sure you tell her how much you enjoyed meeting her and that you will call her soon. Wave goodnight. Exhale. You did well, amigo.  

2 - Follow Up Like A Pro.

You might be tempted to get all texty with her now. Don’t. If you must send something, then send one text and keep it short and sweet. Wait an hour or so after the date and hit her up after you think she’s slipped into her jammies. “Had a great time! Can’t wait to see you again.” Or anything that says that you are a Guy’s Guy and not a night stalker.  

3- Stay The Course.

Although we could successfully argue that it may not always be the case with their behavior (ladies, have a sense of humor por favor), women seek consistency in a guy. That means being both reliable and somewhat predictable in a good way. So if you’ve told her that you will call her, then call her within a day or two. You want to keep her on her toes, but you also want to reassure her that you are a smooth, confident dudester.  

4 - Call, Don’t Text.

Call her. No texting, no email. Call. And have a really cool idea in mind for your next date. When you call remember to make her laugh and always ask her how her day is going before you ask her out again. It’s the little things that count, my friend. When she says yes, be enthusiastic and tell her that you will take care of the arrangements for meeting up that weekend or whenever. Don’t ask her out that night. Let the apprehension and anticipation build up. It’s called foreplay. Then when the big night arrives put on some nice duds and go for it. And, always, always relax, be yourself, and have fun.  

Guy’s Guy of The Week:  Adam Sandler in the movie 50 First Dates  

What are your favorite ways to secure a second date?

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