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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

3 Big Reasons Why Men Should Get Married. Really.

Robert Manni - Wednesday, September 12, 2012

          

When He Knows It’s Time
 

A few years ago, I would have never written this column. Never! Call me a late bloomer. I was single in New York City for over twenty-five years. That’s not a world’s record and I am sure many of you ladies know lots of guys in the city who are not interested in marriage. And I managed to remain single longer than all of my friends and colleagues. But, lucky for me, I met the right woman and one year later, to the day, I popped the question. And another year later, almost to the day, we got hitched. We just celebrated our second anniversary and I now have the insights of a few years of married life under my belt.  And, it’s been great. I’m really glad I first dated to my heart’s desire and I’m even happier that I found a wonderful partner. Here are a few things that convinced me of the virtues of this age-old institution. Quick disclaimer—I realize that every marriage, like every relationship, like every snowflake is different, so I am only speaking of my experience. Here goes… 

1 - Better Diet.  For some reason, I stopped eating beef, pork and lamb the evening I met my wife. Knowing that she was a vegetarian, I did not order a bloody cheeseburger on our first casual date.  And I have never looked back. Recently, I stopped eating poultry, too. Thankfully, my wife never asked me to change my carnivorous habits. But she noticed my mealtime choices, and on her own met me halfway by shifting to a diet that now includes fish. I know that she would prefer that we both existed on veggies and various forms of non-animal protein, but she is a very wise and giving person and it is working out nicely. I feel great. Hey, I did the whole bachelor thing—you’ve probably dated a guy whose staples were ketchup, toilet paper, beer, and ESPN. I pigged out at business dinners and worked out enough to maintain my fitness, but it took a woman’s touch to gently guide me to healthier dietary choices. The bonus is that my energy level is way up and I do not miss the meat or the bacon. That’s just me, but I attribute it to my wife’s quiet leadership by example. She has the metabolism of a hummingbird. She loves to eat and she’s an amazing cook so there is always great-tasting food in our home. Bonus points. 

2 - Better Friendship. Better Sex. If you are a married guy and your wife is not your best friend, to me that’s a red flag. Healthy couples like to spend time together. I’ve been in a few ongoing relationships where we spent most of the time rumpling the sheets. No complaints, but eventually we had to get up and go out and that’s when the issues surfaced. You can have great sexual chemistry and not much else in common. Maybe that is ironic, but I took it for what it was, went back for more, and I do not look back. Thankfully, my marriage is robust in this area too, which brings us to… Another blogger asked your Guy’s Guy to write something about what men want. Brilliant topic. But, the answer is short. In fact it is only one word: More. Yep, that’s what men want. For me, and I am sure for other guys (see Mick Jagger), ‘more’ meant a variety of partners. I get it. That said, I always recalled reading a quote by a handsome, professional football star who said that he had learned that you can go deeper with the right woman than you can by sharing your swimmers with a half-dozen ladies. It stuck in my mind and I finally realized that he was right. Of course, I took my time to find out. In fact, I took as much time as possible to find out. 

3 - Better Health. I’m sure you have all read about the studies that claim married guys outlive their single counterparts. Men are lonely, solitary hunters. That’s what we do. And, most of us do not eat that well, we do not get enough sleep and we spend too much time watching sports, drinking beer and chasing women. That’s after spending ten hours a day competing in our jobs and dealing with the stress that comes form urban living, high-pressure careers and a shit economy.  Of course married guys (if they are with the right woman) live longer. 
 
I can go on and on, and I am not trying to score brownie points with you or my wife. I’m just doing what Guy’s Guys do. We call them as we see them and we learn from our mistakes. So next time you hear one of the guys (especially if he is over forty) crowing about how great it is to be single and prowling the bars in the city, ask him a few questions about all of the above. You may get an interesting response. 

Guy’s Guy of The Week: Warren Beatty, for finally getting hitched in a happy marriage with Annette Bening after years of being a playboy. 

What do you think are the benefits of being married?

image courtesy of http://www.25karats.com/
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