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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

5 Easy Steps to Get A Response From Your Initial Online Correspondence

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Image courtesy of Tom Taylor

After making all the decisions to create your fascinating online persona for that dating website, the real challenge begins. And you’ll need a plan.

1- No Winks.

After reading and carefully reviewing her profile and photos and determining if she’s a “person of interest”, send her a brief─that means shorter than the U. S. Constitution─note that explicitly expresses your interest in engaging in some friendly dialogue and implicitly expresses your desire to meet her in person.

2- Lead with a positive.  

Always tell her that you enjoyed reading her profile. Know that she’ll probably go right to yours and check out your photos. Don’t take this personally. You’re not a piece of rump roast to her, but she probably gets more online action than you do─ by a good measure─ because guys are still more aggressive when it comes to overtly pursuing the opposite sex. If you pass her ocular test─yes, ladies can be visual, too and they most likely won’t waste time if they don’t connect with your looks and vibe even if you write like Longfellow.

3- Tell her a little bit about yourself and find common ground. 

I said a little bit, not how you won the spelling bee in the fifth grade. Save that for when you are driving to her house for Thanksgiving. And mention some things about you that are relevant to her interests and what she is seeking in a dude.  You enjoyed visiting Kuala Lumpur, too? Mention the race track in the city and eating durian fruit.  This way she’ll know you’re for real, paying attention to her profile, and not just contacting her because of that revealing pic of her in that snakeskin manokini.  In fact, don’t mention that photo even if she’s built like Pamela Lee.

4- Ask her a question. 

Better yet, ask her an open ended question, so there’s an opportunity for some tasty dialogue. And by all means, make it as clever and insightful as possible to peak her interest and demonstrate your written communication skills. You’ll have to handle this part on your own.

5. End by telling her that you are interested in learning more about her. 

This sounds obvious, but so does holding the door for a woman. You’d be surprised how many guys don’t paying attention to the details. And women are all about the details.

And for now, no last name, no phone number, no invitation to go skiing. This is where you want to leave things for now. Save those other bits for after she responds to you. That’s where the real fun begins because if she responds, she’s telling you that she’s interested in learning more about you. Then you’ve got your shot at the title. Now go for it.

Do you think you can follow these five easy steps?

Do You Want An Online Profile That Works?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 08, 2011


Image courtesy of hapticflapjack


Of course you do and the good news is that it’s so damn easy. Easy that is, if being you comes natural, because women want to meet a guy who is comfortable in his own skin. And if you’re not, should a smart, successful, attractive woman want to hang with you?

Now let’s get that profile in order.

1- Be honest with yourself, and with her. 

The key to success in online dating is honesty. I know, you’re thinking, “I thought everyone shaves a few years and pounds off their profile.” Yes, and most guys add some hair to their head also, but who are you kidding?

If you just turned forty and look great for your age and want to stay thirty-nine for another year, I don’t condone, but I understand. It’s when you lose track of yourself and still think you are in your thirties after you turn forty-five is when you are setting yourself up for a fall. And isn’t looking great for your age a good thing? Be reasonable, and if you’re challenged on this by a prospect, fess up. If you don’t, it will come back and bite you.

And no juicing on your income either. If you chose to avoid checking that box, that’s your prerogative.  Be wary of women who say that income and occupation don’t matter as long as the guy is passionate about what he does.  I’ve found that many of the women who say they are interested in guys with a dream find us far more interesting after we’ve made those dreams come true. Just sayin’.

2- Of course you love to travel. 

Maybe because of the economy you haven’t been able to take as many fun vacations as in the past, but that does not mean you don’t love to travel. Women love traveling and will want to know where you’ve been and more importantly, where you want to go…with them. So keep it real and keep your sights set beyond the water slide at Wallyworld. Think Europe, the islands, and Asia for starters. If you haven’t been to any of these places yet, tell her where you want to go there and why, beyond buying booze at the duty-free shop.

3- You are an epicurean.  

Do you know any women who don’t love great food? Think about it and bring out your best restaurants and cuisines. We’re in a big city so this can even be an out of the way café, but it had better serve something more exotic than cheese steaks. And make sure you have someplace fun in mind to take her if you can score that second date. I know dining out is not as creative as kayaking or bird watching at dawn, but the women I know in Manhattan love to be shown off at a nice restaurant that serves great food.

4- Your status and what you are looking for. 

Be truthful. It’s the right thing to do and it will save everyone time. So you are divorced. Twice.  Or you’re over forty-five and have never been married. This is NYC and that’s not that uncommon these days. Just have a good reason for your choices besides you like a variety of partners every month.

5- Have a plan. 

Ask yourself if you are looking for one person or if you are want to play the field for now. Don’t be a heartbreaker. There are lots of great women online who are looking for more than becoming a notch on your belt. You’re a smart guy and can quickly find out what her game plan is also. Remember it goes both ways.

So be honest, be yourself, have fun, and be safe.

Can you handle the truth?


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