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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

How To Man Up For A Break Up

Robert Manni - Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Photo courtesy of CarbonNYC

Is breaking up really so hard to do? There are lots of articles and blog posts in cyberspace providing today’s young bucks with the latest tips on how to meet, connect, and score with the ladies. That’s a good thing because the behavior of fellas is under scrutiny, and in some cases attacked.  I recently launched my debut novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, where Max Hallyday, the main character, is convinced by his ex to write a column about men for her start up girl power mag. His column is called, “The Guys’ Guy’s…” yeah, you get the rest. Yes, I wrote a novel with some tough love advice for the ladies sprinkled with some seasoned saltiness, but I’m no Miss Manners for dudes. Hopwever, I’ll take on a tough topic and shed wisdom on the flip side of hooking up. Here are my five older bull essentials for breaking up.

1- Be mindful. Think things through before you make your move. I’m referring to how to end a real relationship like a man, not how to disappear into thin air after a Jager-fueled one-night stand with a woman you met in the bar after the Rangers game. This means that you’ve dated the woman in question for at least a month and the two of you have done your share of partying and sheet rumpling. She’s displayed her body to you and you know damn well that she is interested in being more than friends with benefits or a random hook up. If this is the case and you’re just not feeling it, it’s time to do step up and do the right thing. After all, you like her, and if she were a guy friend, you would not disrespect him. So once you’ve made up you mind about your feelings (you do have feelings), there’s no turning back.

2- Make the break in person and pick the right location. First, no texting or phone calls. And although it sounds like something out of a spy movie, it’s easier to break the news in a public location, and in a best case scenario, outdoors where there is a busy crowd in motion. I’d avoid sitting face-to-face in a restaurant unless you want to see what her radicchio with balsamic vinaigrette dressing looks like after it’s been dumped on your shirt.  Pick someplace romantic, like Central Park, where you can sit side by side and watch all the good-looking people run, walk, and bike past the two of you.  This will remind her of our world in motion, full of desirable, potential new partners. 

3- Be direct and do not place blame. Okay, she’s a great girl and you really enjoy hanging out with her. But, although you’ve giving the relationship a proper chance, you’re just not feeling it. That’s okay, bro. It happens. Over time you’ll become more circumspect and more adept at qualifying your partners early on while at the same time learning to be more sensitive to a woman’s feelings. But ultimately, the heart wants what it wants, and if the tables were turned, she’d move on also. Every situation is different, so I can’t suggest you the words for you to use, but you need to be straight up and let her go like a real man. So take a deep breath and tell her the truth without getting into the weeds with details, even if she farts under the covers. The bottom line is that although you really dig her, you don’t see the potential for a long-term relationship. It’s not about you, or her. Focus on the ‘us’, and remember that ‘us’ takes two. 

4- Be kind. Truism. Women do not like getting dumped. And that means they don’t like it a lot more than guys don’t like it. Guys become accustomed to rejection since in the majority of cases, even though women are doing the capturing; men still do most of the hunting. No woman wants to be rejected, especially after she has shared her body and bared her soul to a guy. Once a woman opens up the window to her emotions, she’s vulnerable. It’s important that you realize that at that juncture she will do her best to make the relationship work. She wants your happy place to be with her, so how bad is that? Just be nice and do whatever you can to not hurt her any more than she feels that you are already hurting her, even if ultimately, you’re doing her a favor. And when it’s over, that’s it. No slinking back for a little something, something when your inner horn doggie wants a treat. Let her go.

5- Relax. No matter how bad you may feel if and when her waterworks start flowing, ultimately she does not want to be with a guy who isn’t totally into her. And trust me, if she is as cool as you think she is, she will shake you off (after you leave) and move on faster than you think. And if she turns on you, brace yourself and be understanding.  She may also have issues about letting go. The key is to be gentle, but firm. After all, would you want to be with someone who does not share the same feelings about you? I think not. And that’s the truth, amigo.

When It's Time, Are You Ready To Deliver The News Like A Man?


How to Run an Ad Campaign to Get More Dates

Robert Manni - Wednesday, January 04, 2012



Photo courtesy of Instant Vintage

Guest Post From Cupid's Pulse:

In my novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, our main character, Max Hallyday, writes a column for a women’s magazine doling out regular guy-style sagely advice to the ladies about how men think and how to get them eating out of your hand. He takes a tough love approach, but he is honest and well intended, and as a result…well, you’ll have to pick up a copy of the book to find out what happens.

Want To Know The Five Steps To Successful Advertising?


Whether you are selling love or mayonnaise, the same rules apply.

1- Know your target market. Men and women spend a lot of time trying to figure each other out, but I’m not sure they take the time to explore what is going on within the culture of the opposite sex. For example, do you think guys know that today’s women have different needs? In the past, relationships had major financial implications. Guys paid. Today, women are self-sufficient, so guys need to address women’s other needs. And for guys, this is a very good thing as long as they are interested in fun, friendship and really getting to know a woman.

2- Know you brand. Look at how challenging it is for people to draft an online dating profile. So much going on around us that many folks do not take the time to sort out who they really are and what they really want. Well, they usually want a lot of things, but a lot of it is reactive and propagated by the media. Do you really need hair like Jennifer Aniston or a booty like Kim K.? Well, maybe a booty like Kim K.(oops).

3- Know what your target wants. Yes, that means that it is not all about you. That may be news to some, well maybe many women and men who feel entitled to the object of their desire, just because. C’mon, you’ve been there. If single men and women shifted their focus to what their prospective paramour really needs, there would be a sea change in dating. This is an area that is most often overlooked.

4- Be fresh and fun. It’s easy to fall into line and think and do the same old same old. Everyone is crazy busy and who has the time to be creative anymore? You do. And when you start thinking out of the box your prospective partner will know and appreciate that you went the extra mile for them whether it be a picnic for two in the park with a bottle of their favorite Chardonnay or tickets to the Met. Going the extra mile is noticed and appreciated. I still remember all the good things about a past relationship because of that stained glass window she had custom-made for me featuring a seascape since I have a place near the ocean. That was cool.

5- Ask for the order. If you feel that you’ve done your homework and know who you are and who he or she is, and still think that there is a chance that you will not end up in a battle to the death over who gets the iPad, then go ahead and let him know that you are available and that you’ve got what it takes to rock his world. Most likely he’ll be more than appreciative. He’ll be yours.

Think You’re Ready To Launch Your Own Ad Campaign?

What Does Spirituality Have To Do With A Fast-Paced Novel About Advertising In New York City?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Image courtesy of La Luz

Guest Post and Interview From Suddenly Books:

I usually write blog posts at www.robertmanni.com about the top layers of my novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE.  There is a wealth of topics to draw from -love, sex, power, and money to name a few. The story has a muscular plot that pulls the action along like a strong, steady undertow. For most readers-especially those interested in how men think-there is enough to keep readers engaged. But beneath the surface burbles a quiet subtext about morality, compassion, and an essence of spirituality.  To highlight this, one of the secondary characters, Alejandro Trebilcock, is a Reiki Master, teacher and a holistic energy practitioner. Alejandro works as a moral compass to the story in a fun, non-intrusive way. Yet, his contribution is noteworthy. He knows how to slow down his world, quiet the noise, and become mindful and present. That’s how he learns and lives better. That’s what I strive to do too, because it really helps me. When I drift from my energy practice, I fall into an all-too-familiar reactive pattern of living.

How Can We Use Energy To Improve Our Lives?

Having been certified in Reiki, hypnosis, and the Jose Silva method and after pouring through countless books on spirituality and holistic practices, I found a thread of consistency throughout the teachings. The process of growth, enlightenment, and healing begins from the inside. And to get inside the subconscious mind, we need to quiet our conscious minds. It’s that simple. Meditation, yoga, running, reading, breathing, and walking are just a few forms of quieting the mind and simply being. When we are quiet, we open up, and when we are open we can access a universal consciousness. It’s not so serious. It’s just about slowing our minds down a bit.

Am I enlightened? Far from it, but I am aware of what I am doing and the patterns I repeat. Self-knowledge is a great first step.

So What Does This Have To Do With A Novel That Is A Sexy Romp Through Manhattan?

Two things. First all of the principal characters in THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE evolve in some way over the course of the story. This author believes that personal growth can occur. And in each case, the characters have some form of circumspection about their actions. Even Roger, our on-point womanizer, knows what he is lacking emotionally, so he has taken that first step to possible redemption. Throughout the book-whether it comes from Max Hallyday’s men’s column for women, Alejandro’s Reiki and energy practice, or the many scenes involving epiphanies and points of self-awareness-the core characters are on a journey towards potential self-realization. Some make it. Others…well you have to read the story to find out.

Is this subtext possible in a fast-paced rom-com? Yes, it is.

Am I Walking The Walk?

Like all of us, I’m a work in progress. However, I would not have had the energy to face down the endless challenges this story faced over the five years that led to publication without my energy practices and beliefs in place. It would have been too easy to set the story aside. I’m not Dr, Phil. I’m a guy’s guy, but I can assure you that working with energy is a gift that all of us can access.

Do You Have The Discipline It Takes To Quiet Your Mind And Get The Most Out Of Life?


SUDDENLY BOOKS QUESTIONS- ROBERT MANNI- THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE 

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I grew up in River Edge, New Jersey, graduated Villanova University and earned an MBA at Pace University in Manhattan. I am currently President of Agent16, an advertising agency in New York. For the past two decades I have played and experienced success in Madison Avenue’s relentlessly changing game. I’m a true devotee of New York City, inspired by its diverse array of people, its pulsating energy, no-nonsense attitude, and romantic backdrop.

I’m a world traveler, a Reiki Master and teacher, certified advanced clinical Master Hypnotist and graduate of the Jose Silva Method and Life System. I’ve run three marathons and am a bona fide “Guy’s Guy who somehow managed to survive over twenty years of single life in the big city.

What kind of story or topic do you write about in your book?

THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE is a sexy romp through the fast-moving, high-stakes word of Madison Avenue. It is a story that appeals to both women wanting to get an inside look into the world of today’s man, and for men to finally have a book that articulates their point of view.

The story itself is about two men competing for love, sex, power, and money in the city that never sleeps. Ultimately the book is about love and how men and women spend a lot of time analyzing one another without taking the time to understand that we all need love and we all need to give love. Along the way in the story there is a lot of frothy action and insights into how men think.

What is the first line?

The book begins right in the middle of a scene when Max Hallyday, the main character, receives a text message. 

The line is, Buzz-

Who is your favorite character in the book? Is he similar to you?

I try not to have a favorite character because they are all equally important in telling the story. However, Roger Fox, the archetype of a modern womanizer seems to have struck a chord with readers. Roger is engaging, seductive, and self-serving but he is also likeable and a scene-stealer. His character arc is critical to the storyline and what happens to his best friend, Max. 
None of the characters are me, but I can relate to Max, Roger, and Alejandro, the Reiki Master and surfing champion. They represent three very different sides of modern men- the everyday guy’s guy, the sexual male, and the spiritual essence. You could say that the difference between one man and the next is how he manages his “inner Roger”.

How did you come up with the title?

I actually had the title, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, before starting to write the book. I was inspired by the growing chasm between men and women in today’s society and thought that is was about time that a regular guy gives women a peak under the tent into a world that they need to know better. It’s not pretty, but it is not so bad either. And, it’s an authentic and honest perspective that will help women figure out guys and their quirks.
I think it’s unique and provocative, and a bit of a tongue twister, which makes it fun and something that needs to be stated twice the first time people see it. That’s good advertising.

What town or city does your main character live in? Does he like living there?

All of the characters live in New York City, yet none of them come from Manhattan. That’s pretty typical and I enjoyed the melting pot aspect of their world as a metaphor for the world we live in. New York can be that way. I also take them to the beaches of the Jersey Shore, sans Snooki, for a change of scenery.

Does religion play a part in your story?

Great question. Can a story about love, sex, power and money in the heart of New York City include religion? You bet! The book is about something beyond being, “the man’s successor to Sex and the City” which is how Dan Wakefield, author of The Highjacking of Jesus and New York in the Fifties, refers to it.  I included a character, Alejandro, who is a Reiki Master and teacher and holistic healer as moral compass to the story and I feel very strongly about his character and his message. I really wanted to write a book that is ultimately uplifting and from our feedback, readers are having a great time with the story and the surprising ending that ties all of the pieces together in a very unique and satisfying way.



The Top 13 Dating Secrets of Men

Robert Manni - Wednesday, December 14, 2011

            
         image courtesy of www.unabashedlyprep.com/


Our site and blog promise a revelation of men’s deepest and darkest dating secrets.   We’ve been sharing a lot about dating and relationships along the way and introduced Max Hallyday, the protagonist in The Guys’ Guy’s Guide To Love who pens a column that exposes men’s dating tricks of the trade.  However, we haven’t yet answered the question directly in this blog. As such this Guy’s Guy will disclose a few of the tastiest tidbits about the inner workings of men on the prowl. Here is my baker’s dozen. 

13- Inside of every man lives an inner horn dog. Guys are driven by their inner horn doggie, so ladies, make a mental note. If you don’t believe me, ask a guy about this and then pay attention the way you would if you asked him if your butt looks big in those jeans. 

12- Men are insecure. Many ladies say that if they were guys they would have a field day with women. Maybe, but guys don’t think like women and at times they can be clueless about the opposite sex. When a guy approaches a woman that he is attracted to, it shows. This gives women the upper hand and makes a guy both nervous and excited, but you women smell fear like wild animals and can shoot down guys like a crack shot when they don’t exude self-confidence. So, the hamster wheel of male insecurity rolls on. 

11- Men like women to “help out”. Sure, most guys want to do the hunting, but ladies do the capturing. Men are not great at reading the signals that ladies give off and they appreciate it when you let them know that you like them by a touch on his arm or a smoldering glance. Easy stuff and it works. 

10- Men don’t pay attention. Success with women is all about the little things, but men are all about making things happen. You tell a guy about your day, he wants to solve your problems. He thinks he’s helping while you roll your eyes. Make him pay attention... by any means possible. 

9- Guys are still visual. No surprise. You clean up nice so save the sweatpants for after you’re living together.  Actually, not even then if you can help it.

8- Men need to be appreciated for their sense of humor. If you dig him, you probably already think he’s clever. If you don’t dig with his sense of humor, you might as well move on unless he enrolls in clown school. 

7- Nothing beats a great pair of legs…except maybe a heart-shaped booty. This means leave the pants suit in the closet now and then and strut your stuff when you are with him. A man needs to be reminded that his woman is strong, but feminine even if you are in better shape and can probably whip his ass. 

6- When a guy says he’ll call, he usually means it. Men are usually honest about this, but like children, they are easily distracted. If he says he’ll call, consider asking him when. At least that etches you into his subconscious. And if he doesn’t call, forget him. You deserve better. 

5- Men dread Valentine’s Day. It all boils down to pressure. If lingerie is for him, should he buy it? What size does she wear if her boobs are small and her butt is round? As he wanders the aisles of Victoria’s Secret he’s probably doing a body check on other ladies in an effort to find someone your size. And women don’t appreciate that. Pressure. 

4- When it comes to sex, timing is everything. Whether it takes two drinks or ten dates, you both know when it’s time. However, if you hop into bed too quickly in the back of his mind he’s wondering how many times you’ve been this naughty little bunny rabbit. Just sayin’. 

3- The way to his heart is… It doesn’t necessarily matter if you can cook up a storm, but men love to chow down. It’s what we do. Make that work for you the best you can.

2- He wants a lady he can take home to Mom. Sure, he’ll happily spin you around like a top in bed and come back for more if that’s all you are interested in, but ultimately a man wants to show off his woman to his friends, family, and business associates. 

1- Don’t change for any man.  Be the best version of you and he’ll be a happy fella. And if not, the door is that way. 

 What other secrets to dating men have you unearthed?

Who Is Roger Fox and Why Should You Care?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Photo courtesy of Ryan Milani


Every so often a character in a movie, TV series or in literature hits the audience’s emotional bulls eye. It is usually due to a combination of story circumstances, an undeniable “likability” or “watchability” of the character regardless of their behavior (think Hannibal Lecter or Tony Montana), but most often it is the character’s reflection of the current culture.  And many times these unrelenting fictional personas are not the lead characters in the story (Zack Galifianakis in The Hangover, Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers, and Joe Pesci in GoodFellas). In my debut novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, Roger Fox, a ridiculously handsome and flawed, yet self-aware womanizer, has taken center stage in the press and in reviews. The story’s subtext suggests that the difference between the male characters in the book is how they manage their “inner-Roger”. Just this week I received an email from a colleague whose ex was reading the book. She mentioned his identifying with Max, the lead in GGG2LOVE, but having more “Rogerness” than he was aware of or admitting to. 
 
Why Is Roger So Easily Identifiable? 

Roger Fox is a new archetype, the non-apologetic lady-killer with a soul, and he devours every scene he is involved in. He rises up, he is taken down, he evolves (or does he?) and ultimately he does something significant that readers would not expect, which is why he is the epicenter of the novel’s subtext.  Roger exists in a fictional realm that transcends the smack-talking cads featured in network television like, The Rules of Engagement or How I Met Your Mother, and two-dimensional prototypes of the Hollywood lothario that we’ve come to expect and accept as the candy our pop culture is dolling out to us. 
Roger is circumspect, so even if his aware that his heart is temporarily void, he happily takes what his world offers. In New York City’s rough and tumble dating scene, he doesn’t have to search very hard to find a number of able and willing partners. And so the cycle continues…

What Makes Roger Relevant Now?

Take a quick look at what’s going on in our culture. As the world shrinks and our options expand, the notion of long-term relationships has dwindled. And it’s understandable. With the omnipresence of online dating, your next romantic connection is only a click away. No man up approach is necessary to impress a woman.  No personal charm or clever repartee is required beyond his digital scribbles and white lies when he is communicating online and more importantly, no apologies are offered when it’s time to say goodbye. ‘Delete’ is all that is necessary to eliminate that person from your lifeline. As Roger’s conscience, I can confidently state that this is unacceptable. You deserve better.  You deserve real connections. And even Roger Fox talks a better talk and walks a better walk than that. Demand more of your guys, ladies.

Do You Know A Roger Fox?


Is Your Cake Half Eaten Or Half Full?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, November 30, 2011

At times life moves so quickly that we don’t take the time to slow down and truly appreciate those things and people we can be thankful for during this time of year. My wife, who very early on told me that the key to my being a good partner was “paying attention”, upped her game once again by sliding that cake pictured above under my nose at the conclusion of our family Thanksgiving meal. At first I thought it was pretty clever of my family to arrange this amazingly playful, chocolate- raspberry homage to my novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE. Then (I was paying attentionI peeked over at my wife from the corner of my eye and saw her trademark beaming smile and her genuine delight in my surprise. I realized that she was the architect of the cake surprise. So, I am one lucky and thankful Guy’s Guy to have a partner who is so thoughtful and loves me despite all of my glaring flaws. Thank you, Uni Manni. My cake is more than half full and I am hungrier than ever.

Things Are Tough Out There, So What’s There To Be Thankful For?

True, yet I was inspired when most people I know said that they had a wonderful break from the action last week that was accompanied by picture perfect weather and time well spent with good friends and family. That’s the spirit. Yes, the economy is broken and at times people’s behavior can be transparently self-serving and appalling. Maybe all we have is each other and the world is one giant-sized dysfunctional family. Maybe that’s our message and something we need to acknowledge and do our best to be thankful for. If you can’t find a way to be thankful, life can become a long, boring drive through the Holland Tunnel, and we‘re better than that. In this Guys’ Guy’s opinion, we are here to enjoy the ride, so roll down that convertible top, and start paying attention. There is a guy or a woman out there ready to rock your world. It can happen, but you need to open up and participate in the process.

But I’m Over Thirty And Sometimes It Feels Like My Cake Is Going Stale.

Your cake is sweeter than ever. If you are a guy, the urban landscape is a Candyland filled with smart, pretty, interesting women who are looking to meet a great guy. Make that a Guy’s Guy.  So take a break from your fantasy football league and pay attention. That special lady may be passing through your universe, but you’re not going to notice or connect with her with that Wii control in your hand.

And ladies, if you want to understand why guys have all of these quirks like squeezing ketchup on way too many foods and wearing those damn baseball caps indoors, then give your “list” a much needed rest and open that perceptual window so you can see how interesting and nice guys can be if you give them a chance. I’m not suggesting that you lower your standards or settle, but at least take the time to check out life through what may at a distance seem like a blurry, testosterone-fueled lens. You may be pleasantly surprised with what you learn about guys and you may find that there is a lot of cake still on the table.

Are You Ready To Have Your Cake And Eat It, Too?                    


Is There Truth In Advertising?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Photo courtesy of Jason Taellious

I’m an ad guy as well as a guy’s guy and a novelist. My nine to five for the past twenty-something years has centered on a business that is fun, fast, and many times misunderstood.  In the ad game (and it can be a game) we don’t make things up. We deal with the truth, and we find the right bits of truth that tell the story that you want to hear. At least that’s what consumers constantly tell us during focus groups that we deploy to find out just what is wrong and what is right about the brands we represent.

Why Is Culture Branding So Important?

Although great advertising can become part of pop culture- “Where’s the Beef?” or the new Old Spice guy- it usually succeeds best when it leverages what is going on in pop culture in relationship to desired consumers a brand wants to connect with. If they love sweet dessert tastes and alcohol, they get whipped cream and cake-flavored vodka. It’s that simple. The right product with the right message can be driven deep into the culture.  When your brand becomes part of the pop culture and consumer landscape, you win.

So Why Write A Novel About Advertising?

There have been many brilliant non-fiction tomes about the ad business and what makes consumers tick.  My debut novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, is a story about love, sex, power, and money. So I asked myself, is there a better environment than advertising to place characters into a fast, frothy world that plays with our perceived truths and imaginations and our perspectives on life and love and the pursuit of happiness? And, I could write about an environment that I know.

So, Is The Novel About Culture Branding?

I did my best to connect with my readers with a positive message and the need to provide a window into understanding  how each sex views the other. Having been single for many years until recently, I noticed that there was a disconnect in how men and women perceived each other. It was usually through a lens that filtered out some of the truth. While crafting the story, I was convinced that the truth was not only a good thing, but also a path to a bridge where men and women could meet in the center and see that at the core, they are the same. We all need love and need to be understood. And that ain’t so bad. Maybe it’s not a new idea, but it certainly is one that is as important now as ever. I guess my novel is true to culture branding.

How do you see the truth in advertising? 



Is He A Guy's Guy?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Image courtesy of Jonathan Mueller

With all the momentum around the ascent of women, it is easy to overlook men in general. They have enjoyed a 40,000-year day in the sun and contrary to popular culture myths, like alligators traversing the sewers of New York City, they are not going away anytime soon. But there is a new guy in town, and he’s someone you should meet. He’s a guy’s guy and in my opinion, he is destined to become a very important representative of our culture.

So Why Is It Time For The Guy's Guy? 

Throughout history and particularly the twentieth century and modern times, the role and definition of the ideal man has shifted like the sands in a Rudolf Valentino movie. Over time, the man’s man archetype as presented to us by Hollywood and pop culture was initially portrayed as a dashing, swashbuckling hero in the mold of Errol Flynn and Douglass Fairbanks, Jr. Smooth, handsome, and brave. These guys were mostly action, with a flair for the dramatic and a sense of fearlessness that could not be ignored. The women swooned. Then came John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, and Kirk Douglas. Less talk, not as pretty-boy, but alpha males that you did not want to mess with. But, in most cases these fellas were not encumbered by the stresses of modern life that we face now.  The anti-heroes of the seventies as portrayed by Eastwood and Bronson are no longer relevant, despite Ryan Gosling’s character arc in “Drive”. People didn’t quite buy it, yet, but there is a subtext to Gosling’s version of the slow, but steady disconnected male who strives to belong and do the right thing.

So, Is Seth Rogen A Guy’s Guy?

He could be, but a guy’s guy is not the Judd Apatow male that we have witnessed clogging up our movie screens for the past decade. These characters are hilarious, but have actually hastened our need for the guys’ guys to step up and be counted. Women want men to be more manly, but not in a macho-jerk wad way.

So What Is This Guy's Guy?

A guy’s guy is a contemporary take on a man’s man, but without the testosterone-fueled veneer that ultimately alienated women and motivated them to transcend a need to be taken care of by men and placed in a never-ending purgatory called second-place. A guy’s guy has many of the traits of the archetypal expectation of a “real” man, but in a more digestible way. He likes women and wants them to succeed. He gets it. He doesn’t have to punch his way of out of a jam or burst into the bad guy’s hideout armed with a knife and pointed one-liners. But he will be there for you and his friends if trouble breaks loose at the local tiki bar. He’s reliable, flexible, non-judgmental, and always ready for a good time. He works hard, plays hard, and doesn’t ever forget who his friends are or where he came from. Women feel comfortable with him, yet are attracted to him in ways they cannot easily describe. He’s a man that other men like and respect. He might enjoy playing sports, but no longer lives and dies with the teams he watches. He puts the journey into perspective, he has a plan, and he is always finding ways to help make you, the world and him better. He sounds simple, but he is far from it. He’ll treat you like a woman, he’s physically warm, and will always make you feel comfortable on his arm. He’s not a chauvinist, but he likes it when you put on that pretty green dress every so often. He knows how to drink and is nice to your family, old people, kids, and small animals. His family might not understand him, but he realizes that we don’t pick our relatives. He is someone you enjoy hanging out with…anywhere, and ladies, he is one helluva lover. Unselfish, pleasing, and lusty as a mountain goat.

Why Are Guy's Guys Important?

Do I really have to explain? Are you, or is your guy, a guy’s guy?


4 Must-Dos Before Embarking On Online Dating

Robert Manni - Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Image courtesy of Du Dãng

Online dating is a big topic and worthy of a book.  As far as getting started is concerned, there are a few overarching rules that apply to anyone who is dating online. You might have a system that works for you, but for most people, they are looking for ways to have more fun and less anxiety when making a splash in the online dating pool.

1. Determine Your Objective

This is marketing and you are the brand. So like any astute marketer, you need to first determine your objective. This is a step that will have ramifications for every online date. Think about it. Do you want lots of dates and partners, or a relationship? Be fair to yourself and everyone else when considering that. You may be thinking, what’s wrong with dating a number of prospects until I meet the right person? Nothing, but it will become a factor with every new person you meet.


2. Find Potential Dates With The Same Objective

Some guys and women use online dating as an efficient way to fill up their calendar, meet new people, score free dinners, and enjoy what happens after dessert. My point is, if that is what you are looking for, find partners who are share the same mindset. You can sort that out fairly quickly. And don’t be a heartbreaker because there are a lot of sincere people out there looking for “The One”.

3. Don’t Waste Time, You Have An Offline Life Too

If you are reasonably intelligent and “normal”, it’s easy to score dates online. There is a bottomless pool of potential partners that is constantly restocked. But this is your time and your money and your sexual and mental wellbeing, so be mindful of your online dating behavior and avoid getting lost in a sea of endless possibilities.

4. Avoid The ‘Shiny Object Syndrome’

One of the biggest challenges to online dating is not falling into the pattern of immediately tossing aside potential mates for anything less than perfection because there’s always another prospect out there waiting to share a glass of Prosecco with you.  

Deciding what you want before beginning something new. Sounds like a no-brainer. So does not texting when you are walking up the subway stairs during rush hour. So put down that BlackBerry and take a few moments to consider what you want before texting that new guy back.

Do you know what you want?

How to Score Dates While Sitting at Home in Your Tightie Whities

Robert Manni - Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Image courtesy of Egan Snow

Hey guys, I’d like to share a few tips on how to meet cool, smart women online. You know, the kind of lady that you probably have admired from across the bar or from the squat rack at the gym, but were not quite sure how to approach. The beauty of online dating for men is that you can relax and plan your introduction without pressure. If you don’t feel like corresponding with her today, she might be in that same location tomorrow. Or maybe not. But why wait when it’s so easy to make your move and connect with her?

1- Read her profile. Twice. 

That’s correct. A lot of dudes flip through the photos and only pay attention to the hottest of hotties only. Tsk, tsk. Of course you want to connect with a young lady that strikes your fancy, but there is a world of important subtext once you dig into her profile. And I assure you that she will be reading your profile very carefully when you send that greeting her way.

You can learn a lot by reading about her. Besides the usual background info and status(avoid ‘separated’ if possible-that can mean she’s in a bad marriage and just scoping the scene), check out what’s going on in her world, and see how much she talks about herself.  Does every sentence begin with “I”?  If the answer is yes, move on.  Same thing if she states anything negative in her profile. That’s a signal for you to turn the page. If someone cannot make it through writing their online advertisement without going negative, imagine how that will spool out on dates with her.

2- Look for someone who knows what she wants. 

Does she mention what she is looking for in a partner or is it all about all about her and the places she has traveled? Does she offer up anything that acknowledges that online love is a two-way street? You’ll probably have to read between the lines a bit, but it’s important to find out if she gets it. To me, no matter how good looking she might be, if you cannot get a good sense of he and the qualities she’s looking for in a guy, it’s a red flag. Same thing if she is too specific. But if she only wants to date accordion players from Alsace Lorraine, at least you’ll know that you don’t fit her specs.

3- No winks. 

Really. Dude, winks are for the ladies. And most women will send a line or two if they’re interested.  Guys need to step up. Tell her that you enjoyed reading about her and that you think she’s pretty and then comment on something in her background info that you can connect with. “Yes, I love Korean BBQ too.”

4- Always ask her a question to make it easy for her to reply. 

And I don’t mean, “Has anyone every referred to you as a spinner?” Come up with an inquiry about her trip to Iceland or that belly dancing class she takes, but without an innuendo about your personal expertise at wiggling below the waist. Take the high road and she’ll see that you are a gentleman.

5- Spelling counts. 

Yes, women pay attention to details and usually have excellent written communication skills. Review your note before sending it on and ask yourself if you would respond to it if you were her. If you are feeling a groove, add a little humor, but again, no sexy time talk. Show her your smooth side and then see if she responds.

6- Never write in all caps. 

I’m sure this is obvious to most, but it’s surprising how many people commit this faux pas which means they are yelling at someone. Bad sign if they do not know this. That’s a sign of not paying attention. Move on, quickly.

7- And, of course, make the first move.  

Show her that you’re interested.  I’ll leave it at that. Good luck.

What are you waiting for?


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