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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

Butt What About The Booty?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, July 11, 2012
 

           courtesy of simple-data.blogspot.com

Does all of the talk about Kim K. and J-Lo’s booties and the body images and types by race serve any purpose other than objectifying women? Yes, there are various body shapes and sizes. There are also different types of hair, eyes, and lips, but so what. I realize that over the years a female ideal has been built around a tall, Caucasian, blonde that’s a size two. That’s not fair to other ladies of color. But somewhere along the way to appreciating the differences we’ve taken a left turn into a ditch called objectification. 

In an age where people are more connected than ever through a myriad of devices, why are we so disconnected in understanding each other? 

I watched a morning news segment recently that featured three young guys interviewed about their preferences in women’s asses like they were flavors of ice cream. The two female hosts kicked things off by asking the white guy if black and Hispanic men like big butts. The interviewers amped things up further by asking if big asses intimidate white guys. Riveting stuff, indeed. 

Hey, I like a nice ass as much as the next guy but shouldn’t our priorities focus on ways of bridging the communication chasm between men and women; not butt sizes and shapes? Are women differentiated now like cuts of meat? 

To be sure not to leave any race out of this objectification exercise, one of the hosts asked the fellas about Asian butts. After an agreement that Asian women are to be judged by how pretty their faces are, the white guy gave his thumbs up on Asian girls with pretty faces and…a bubbly little booty. Whoo Hoo! After three minutes of this enlightening banter the guys took things down another notch by communicating their preferences via hand gestures like slapping an imaginary butt giddy-up style and bouncing up and down on the couch. Of course the hosts invited the young men to return soon. 

Is the media being responsible? 

This is a topic that has been bantered about for ages but is it the right question? As I watched this drivel I was thinking that it’s all in good fun and intended to be entertainment. But then one of the female hosts says, “You know, if you have dipped it in a different flavor you may go back for more. Right?” This from a woman. I’m wondering if I’m a prude or if women are doing themselves a disservice by positioning themselves like cuts of meat or flavors of ice cream. If you had a teenage daughter watching, she’s probably looking over her shoulder at the mirror wondering how her can matches up. That’s the world we live in. 

It’s really up to us 

Wouldn’t it make sense to extol young men into seeking other qualities in young women than the size and shape of their body parts?  This Guy’s Guy thinks so.  You may disagree and are certainly entitled to your own opinion, but at least it would be refreshing to have an alternative for a higher level of discourse that can be just as entertaining and fun, maybe even more so.  In a time when technology allows for everyone to have a voice and directly connect with whomever they want via multiple, free platforms of expression, shouldn’t we collectively make it count?  It’s time to raise the bar. 

Guy’s Guy of The Week: All of Kim K’s ex-partners

How do you think the discussion of bodies and body image should be framed?

Are You Ready To Make This Your Personal Summer Of Love?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, July 04, 2012

 

As always, things are upside down in good old NYC. Somehow this past winter took a left turn on Route 80 and missed us. Throughout those dreary days though, you were checking out Page Six and the photos of young Hollywood flaunting their beach bodies in St. Barths. And from spring up till recently it’s been rainy and relatively cool. But we are now waking up to a parade of steamy, sweltering days that New Yorkers lovingly refer to as, “Summer in the City”.  Ah, the smell of the 116th Street subway platform wafting along the dark tunnel.   

I’m a Guy’s Guy that has lived and thrived throughout many summers in the city.  When the temperatures hit ninety-five and you feel like you are melting on the subway platform then you may ask yourself why you’ve been pining all winter for this. But, summer is the best time of year, especially for love, and you’ll start missing it the moment that first cool breeze blows through your hair in September. So, the time is now, ladies. There are hot guys prowling everywhere in the city and you’ve got to be prepared if you want this to be your summer of love. And that means have a plan and execute it like a pro. Let the others panic about those extra pounds they packed on over the non-winter. You’ll be way ahead of the game and here’s how you’ll win: 

Be positive, but get busy. So what if you’re dreading squeezing those thighs through your bikini bottom for the first time under the harsh lights of your bedroom. How did that bathing suit shrink, anyway? The fact is that you’ve got plenty of company and you’ve still got time to shape up. Physical activity is a great way of shoring yourself up from the inside and translates in how you project yourself to others. Plus, it feels good. And, you know all the tricks for peeling off the pounds like pumping up the cardio and putting down the shots of wedding cake vodka. Give yourself six weeks, but get on the stick right now. Soon enough, you’ll be on the way to having those Madonna arms.

Get outside. I have a cat named Sooki. She stays indoors. I don’t. You shouldn’t either. This is that glorious time for year when the days seem to go on endlessly. Take advantage of this time and get your butt out of your apartment. Go for a run, a bike ride, or a walk in the park and breathe in nature. Remember that inside you’re a sinewy animal. Go hunting. There are lots of guys in the park. And most of them are in great shape and aren’t wearing raincoats. Want to catch some rays?  Besides tar beach, you can always chill on the Great Lawn or enjoy a day trip to the beach. And there are guys everywhere.  Like Jagger sings, “It’s time to get up and get out into something new”. 

Take a class. Maybe this year you can’t afford that Hamptons’ share. That’s okay. There are a million things to do in the city. Taking classes is fun and a great way to learn something new. Even minor accomplishments are good for the soul and for your confidence. The city offers so many fun classes and meet-up groups all over the five boroughs. So whether it’s sailing, wine tasting, marathon training, bird watching, yoga, etc., there are a million things to do on a budget and some of the best things are still free. 

Love yourself from the inside out. New York is lousy with narcissists, so that’s not what I mean. I am referring to being kind to yourself. You work hard and you deserve the best. Let your friends lament the small stuff like the amount of foam on their frappuccino.  Your answers come from within. You’re in your prime and only go around the track once so you might as well enjoy every day like it’s your last one. You see a cute guy? Smile. Guys have it tough and they appreciate a smile from a pretty lady like you. Send out positive vibes and they will come back to you twofold. Maybe I’m simplifying things a bit, but that’s part of the message. If you want to enjoy life, it starts with you. If you want this to be your summer of love, make it happen. Whatever you put out, you’ll get back. So make it about love. Before you know it, that first cool breeze of autumn will blow through your hair and you’ll wish that summer would never end. 

Guy's Guy of The Week:
The Beach Boys - for their 50 years together and their songs of summer love.

Will this be your summer for lovin'?

Work and Romance-The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 27, 2012



Is it wise to have a relationship with a colleague at the office? 

We’ve all been there. You’re working long hours, and as the pages fall off the calendar and the seasons change you look outside the window nearest your workstation and see the smiling faces outside and wonder am I the only one working so damn hard in this city? You look around you and there she is, the pretty young woman with the awesome legs and the great smile.  You ask yourself if the attraction is because you are both working your butts off or are you genuinely feeling it? Before you know it, you’re ordering in since you’re both working late. Then you have a few laughs over the fortune cookie from the crummy Chinese place down the street. The next week you leave work at the same time and walk to the E train together. A month later she wakes up next to you with that same smile that hooked you in the first place. Now what? These office romances usually go one of three ways. 

The Good 

You’re cool. She’s cool. You are both adults and work approximately at the same level in different departments. So it happens. You ate, you drank, you laughed, you rumpled her sheets and she’s totally cool about it. Maybe she has a boyfriend who works in Boston. Or she’s playing the field and she sees you as a great guy who she enjoys spending time with. You are not a stalker nutcase and you respect her space especially after you’ve done the deed. Or maybe she just wanted some variety or to take the edge off and you were there.  And then again, maybe you two were meant to be. It happens. I’ve had a few office flings in my time and one lady ended up living with me and it worked out just fine. We both found new jobs organically, but at first she wanted to let people know that we were an item. And I did not. My question to her was, “Can you tell me one good thing that will come out of sharing this with a gossip crazed ad agency?” That kept the lid on our relationship until I found another job. At that point, it did not matter. We kept things cool and it worked out. Okay, there were a few awkward moments when someone made a lecherous comment about her in my presence, but no big deal. 

The Bad 

If the word is out about you two and you are having a disagreement it sucks. Same thing if another person in the office or someone who works with your company has his or her sights set on one of you. Things can get sticky, fast. You don’t want your co-workers knowing about your personal business. They talk, maybe out of boredom, but they will talk. And when they do your colleagues will look at you differently and maybe guard their own words when either of you is around, especially if you impact their job. It can be awkward. And if there is a rift and someone at the workplace is the reason, business quickly becomes personal. Not optimal, amigo. And you don’t want to have a tryst in the physical office space even if your boss is an a-hole and you want to have sex on his couch, just so you have something to laugh about every time you see his smug puss. So tread carefully when the word gets out about your relationship. It can be used against both of you, and if you are not getting along it can get tricky. 

The Ugly 

This usually happens when one of you is the boss and the other a subordinate. Let’s say the boss decides that he or she has had enough fun. The subordinate gets dumped and all hell breaks loose. High stakes and tension become a toxic cloud in the office. Uncomfortable looks, emotional blackmail and even accusations of sexual harassment are rampant. You know it happens, even if it is not true. People try to keep their jobs by playing this card and it can work if the circumstances are set up the right, or should I say, the wrong way. This can be a messy situation and it impacts people’s careers. You want to keep it light and avoid this at all costs. 

What To Do

As with all of your encounters with the opposite sex, do your very best not to let your sexual organs lead the way, especially at the office. Common sense, paying attention, and being a gentleman all go a long way when engaging the ladies. If you are a guy, look before you leap because you may be walking a tightrope without a net. If you’re a woman, remember that work is for working. Of course because we spend so many hours in an office many couples get their start at work, but if it happens be a professional and don’t let emotions dictate your actions. Our primary reason for being in the office is for the job, even if it’s not much fun. That’s what we get paid for so keep it in mind when that young hottie sashays her stuff past your desk every morning. I know, it’s easier said than done. Do your best and it will work out just fine. 

Guy’s Guy of The Week: 
Bill Clinton - for illustrating for our nation the dangers of dipping one's pen in the company ink. 

Do you have a handle on office romances?

How To Unmask Your Man

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 20, 2012

 
             image courtesy of Warner Bros Pictures


It’s time for Rod to pay a visit again.  You may remember he is the quintessential Guy’s Guy I introduced in an earlier post who bats for the ladies by dishing out the truth about men. Rod is the pseudonym of Max Hallyday, the protagonist in my novel. In the book, Rod teaches women how to win by penning a column exposing the deepest and darkest dating secrets of men called, you guessed it, The Guys' Guy's Guide To Love.  Want to reveal the naked truth about your beguiling man?  Read on…   

Masked Men 

Your letters say that you want the truth about men. I’m warning you – it ain’t pretty. But okay, here it goes. The modern man is weak and increasingly susceptible to temptation. Look at the newspaper and you’ll see how men continue to succumb to their addictions of sex, greed, violence, and hypocrisy. It’s time for women to rule this world in a better way – one man and one relationship at a time. And I’m here to help. 

Fact: Men lie – constantly. They do it to subdue the truth inside their poisoned consciousness. They hide. That’s why you must confront and unmask your man. Think of their heroes – Zorro, Batman, the Lone Ranger, Spiderman. They all wore masks, and for good reason. To hide their identity. Okay, it’s a metaphor, but it’s true. For you to build a successful relationship, you need to unmask your man and make him reveal himself, even if he doesn’t want to show you what’s inside. Don’t let your man get away with secrecy, because regardless of how much time you spend with him, you’ll remain alone if you let him hide what’s inside his heart. Why do men hide? Isn’t it obvious? Because they’re insecure and afraid that they’re not good enough for you. They do it because they can – because you let them. 
 But if you succeed in discovering the truth, you’ll help your man become the person he wants to be – and the partner you deserve. Men need your help more than ever. Now, the good news: You can win. For the same reason a porcupine has quills and a turtle burrows into his shell for protection, women have been equipped with superior intuitive powers. While men waged wars wielding their brute strength and force, women were developing their sixth sense. And the more you trust your gift – the one that tells you “I just know” – the more you’ll be rewarded. 
Here’s a way to supercharge that gift. Men aren’t that complicated, not the way you and your friends think or hope they are. They’re creatures of habit who spend most of their lonely lives thinking about sex, eating, sleeping, drinking, thinking about sex, watching sports, listening to music, playing sports and video games, thinking about sex, and repeating the cycle. That’s about all. Don’t believe me? Just ask. 
An endless stream of available gratuitous sexual imagery, rump-shaking hip-hop videos, and the nihilistic drone of heavy metal music choke the minds and lower the vibrations of modern males. And the declining standards propagated by reality television have taken their toll. Men are caught in a web of misinformation that force-feeds their lowest common denominators. They’ve lost touch with our values and respect for themselves … and for you. 
How can you make it work? Simple – ask questions. And then ask more questions, and in a gentle yet determined way, keep asking, until you've pushed aside their fragile egos and revealed the man inside. And remember, you have to listen to what he says, not judge him. Really listen or else he won’t open up. Then it’s up to you to decide if he is worthy of your love. Sound easy? It is. Whatever answers you receive, even if they’re non-answers, the man is revealing himself. Find out how he feels about everything important in his life. If you stay on him, he’ll be grateful because – more good news – men really want to open up to you. 
When you call at eleven and he tells you that he’s out with a few colleagues above the background noises, that little voice inside you might have its doubts. Start asking him questions. Which bar? What’s the occasion? Who’s there? And don’t forget to follow up the next day, to make sure he was telling the truth. I’m not suggesting that you jack up the poor guy the minute he walks through the door, but over time, you can ferret out the seemingly innocuous information that will tell you what makes men tick. 
Listen to your man – really listen! Then, heed your gift of intuition. When you do, you’ll know if he was out for an innocent night of beers and make bonding or trolling bars in search of a little “something something” while you were curled up in your jammies watching Glee. 
You deserve better. You deserve the best – so start asking questions. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn – the good and the bad. And you’ll discover the man inside of your man. And if your not satisfied with what you find in his heart, let him go. Your heart is too wonderful a gift to open up for anything less than an honest man.  

Until next time,   
Rod


How A Guy's Guy Found His Center Through Energy Work

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 13, 2012





The Wake-Up Call

Over the last twelve years every single aspect of my life has changed. Way back in early 2000 I recall looking out the window of my corner office at the global advertising conglomerate where I worked. I had recently been promoted to Executive Vice President and received a whopping pay raise. Outside my office sat my beautiful assistant. On the surface life seemed great, but something was gnawing at me inside, telling me that this was not my path. I listened and asked the Universe to do what was necessary to set me on the right trail for this life. As they say, be careful of what you ask for. Six months later my world turned upside down. I was out of work for a brief time and went from sitting behind a big desk to sitting on the floor screwing my desk together at a start up. I was learning the digital side of business on the run and it was a challenge. At home my relationship was falling apart and it finally ended. I was by myself in a house with a leaky roof and peeling paint. I was alone, angry, and confused, but I remembered my asking to be placed on the right path. 

Everything is energy, but how can we harness it? 

Science shows us that everything is made up of energy and it is the building block of all matter.  I soon discovered how this was relevant in my life.  A few months after my new low point I stopped at a kiosk at a street fair where a diminutive man was doing what he called “sensei” on a runner’s strained calf. I asked about it and the man told me how he could transmute energy through his hands. He showed me how it worked. I signed up for his mailing list and soon began receiving flyers about various forms of holistic energy practices. I read the flyers about Reiki and considered it as a way to give back. A Reiki practitioner transmutes energy through his palms to another individual in an effort to break down blockages and allow the energy meridians to flow. Sounds like a mouthful, but it’s quite simple if you are open-minded to the concept. And I was. Within a year I was certified in Reiki One and over the next eight years I became a Reiki Master Teacher. I also studied hypnosis and received certification as an Advanced Clinical master Hypnotist. I love both practices. They are fun and they help other people and myself. You can do self-hypnosis and self-Reiki and they really work. My energy has never been higher and I feel great. I pursued my day job in marketing and advertising and over time reached the highest heights along with some lows also, but the energy work has always given me a firm foundation. The combination of Reiki and hypnosis has forever changed my perception of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness and I am forever thankful for these gifts. 

So what’s the point? 

Working with energy studying, reading, practicing, and meditating taught me about light and darkness. We live in a world that celebrates darkness just a bit too much. But light is more powerful than darkness and if your intentions are to learn and share and spread kindness, you will receive guidance. I guarantee it. 

I ran three marathons in five years, wrote two novels, and worked my way back into advertising after a series of challenging jobs and an eight-year layoff from the core business. I became President of an agency within two years of being hired as a part-time consultant. My first novel was rejected for three years, so I wrote another one. Two years later ninety agents rejected my second novel. Then suddenly I landed one. But, it was not my time and let’s just say that my agent was not right for me. I kept plugging along and had a great group of supporters.   

Finally, on my own I found a publisher for my novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE. Even then, we had problems with the first printing. Nothing was easy, even with a great team pushing me onward. Then, a couple months ago the book received a glowing review from Publishers Weekly and the phone began to ring. Let’s just say that it’s happening. The point yes, there is a point. Be patient, believe in yourself and never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot accomplish. I do not think I would have been able to continue through so many challenges without having learned to quiet my mind and be open to inner guidance. That’s really what energy practices like Reiki and hypnosis really do. They help you get the answers you are seeking. But you have to believe and always see yourself as part of everything. Oh, and be open to receiving, you’ll be surprised at what life can bring your way. 

Have you done any energy work?  What sort and how did it impact your life? 

Why Do Men Freak Out When They Hear The Word Relationship?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, June 06, 2012

 

                    image courtesy of gettheguy.co.uk

Let’s face it. We’ve all been dropped into this crazy world without a guidebook for how to deal with life. No one has the answer for question #1-Why am I here? That is a tough start, but it puts everyone on equal footing. This Guy’s Guy believes that we’re thrown into the fray to get along and make our kooky world a better place: with lots of sex…and love. So why do so many men still react to the word ‘relationship’ like it’s the bubonic plague? 

What women want 

Women are more advanced than men are when it comes to ‘relationships’. They seek and embrace situations where they can bond and grow with a mate. But to their credit, that does not mean that it has to last forever. Women simply want a relationship to work out for the best. Why not? Bonding is sharing and sharing means enjoying a lot of cool stuff while making someone you care for happy. Nice. 

What Men Seek 

Unfortunately, men are less evolved in the ways of love. Lots of guys still view a ‘relationship’ as a cross between a stint on Rikers Island and cutting off beer during hockey season. They fear a ‘relationship’ is going to take them off the market and prevent them from getting it on with all of the hot ladies strutting around the big city. There are so many great women out there! I know the feeling of wanting more and more, but it’s misguided. 

What men don't realize they're missing

Take it from this Guy’s Guy the right relationship is a lot more fun than prowling the clubs every night in search of that Eastern European supermodel who was specifically put on Earth to satisfy your particular sexual proclivities. I think you get the picture, but I’ll say it another way. Relationships are good, and when you are in a relationship with the right woman you can go deeper than you’ve ever imagined and it’s satisfying in a way that lasts beyond a good roll in the hay. Just ask any cool woman, and any cool guy who’s emotionally intelligent. You can take it to the bank, amigo. 

What can be done?

I suggest that guys loosen their ties, exhale, and try drinking deeply from the relationship well. When it’s the right one, it tastes good. And if it’s not right, everyone can move on. Ultimately women don’t want to waste their time with a guy who does not make them feel special, important, or in some definition of a relationship. Yes, the hookups and one-nighters can ignite hot sex and some drama, but women are both intuitive and practical when it comes to relationships. They are not going to give it up for too long without repercussions. Maybe that does not answer that question about why we’re here, but it does let guys know that at some point they need to step up. 

Does your guy embrace being in a relationship? 

The 5 Traits Women Look For in a Man

Robert Manni - Wednesday, May 30, 2012

  image courtesy of vi.sualize.us

Have you ever wondered what the most important characteristics that women seek in guys are? After another fruitless night combing the bars, clubs, and hot spots for a mate, a lot of guys skulk home with a belly full of Budweiser and not much else to show for it. I’ve been there…many times. But being a circumspect and blossoming Guy’s Guy, at a certain point I asked myself what was the key to connecting…I mean really connecting with women. Of course the most important step was step one. That meant admitting to myself that I had a lot to learn. Excellent. Then it was on to step two researching with women. I’m an ad guy and we always check in on a regular basis with our target consumers to find out what they are thinking. In this area not much changes. There truly are some basic character traits…beyond a Swiss Bank account and a body like Brad Pitt that women desire in a man. Here is your Guys’ Guys’ Guide to Traits Women Want in a Man. You may agree or maybe not. Ask a woman though before you call bullshit. 

1. Confidence- This is numero uno, amigos. Ladies gravitate to dudes who exude a quiet, but smoldering brand of self-assurance. Not the kind that says, “Look at me. I have ripped abs.” Nope. It’s a smoother, underlying energy that projects from the inside out. It says, without saying, “I know who I am and I am comfortable in my own skin. I’m looking for a partner who has her feet planted on the ground and dreams that reach the heavens.  Interested in finding out more?” That usually works if it is based on true knowing, not posturing. And knowing comes from men who have been tested. 

2. Attitude- This is confidence’s wingman. If a guy has confidence, he usually has the right attitude. That means a propensity to seeing the glass half full. Easier said than done sometimes. Even if he loses his job, a Guy’s Guy sees it as an opportunity to open new doors that are better suited for his journey. Sounds like bullshit? It’s not.  Women like guys who see the big picture, especially when life throws them a major curveball. Women find comfort knowing that their guy is not going to fall apart when the going gets tough and make fear-based decisions. 

 3. Sense of Humor- A lot of women find Bill Murray attractive. Although he may not be your prototypical Hollywood star, he exudes his own brand of confidence and attitude and he’s hilarious. He is one powerful guy. I recently watched him on Anthony Bourdain’s travel show and he is the only person that I have seen that left Bourdain somewhat tongue-tied. That’s quite an accomplishment. And, of course he was in “Stripes” and “Caddyshack” and “Groundhog Day” and SNL. He is certifiably funny as hell and chicks dig his act. 

4. Kindness- It’s kindness, not weakness. In fact, kindness is a true sign of strength, particularly when it emanates from a guy.  It’s easy to be a dick. There are lots of people who do stupid things and arguably could benefit from a boot in the butt, but that’s not what we are here for, amigos. Kindness means transcending judgment. That’s really challenging in a culture driven by reality and competition shows that are based on judging. And in an insidiously exploitive society, people are crying out to be heard. The cure for judgment is kindness. If a dude is mindful about choosing a path of forgiveness and caring, women will pick up on it. And that is a very good thing for everyone. Being kind is a series of conscious decisions made on a daily basis. If guys pay attention to their choices in how they handle people and situations and choose the path of kindness it will pay off in many wonderful ways, including attracting the ladies. This is a fringe benefit of being kind.   

5. The intangibles- I once dated a woman who was turned on by Daniel Day-Lewis’s long fingers.  I could not compete with that. I have meaty fists that scream I have worked with a jackhammer as well as the keyboard of my computer. These are strong, solid hands, but no matter. Needless to say, this is one of those intangibles that guys have to factor in when dealing with women. There are certain quirks and likes that seem random, because they are. And women have the right to follow their hearts when it comes to this stuff. I do not have an anecdote for handling the intangibles, but I assure you that they will spring up when you least expect it.  Do guys think Hugh Grant is cute? Hell, no, but women do. That’s how they roll, fellas, so I suggest deploying the aforementioned other four traits when the intangibles rear their head. Just shake it off. It’s only Hugh Grant. 

Do you have a handle on the five traits that women seek in a man? 

What Ever Happened To Men?

Robert Manni - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

         
image courtesy of http://jolearon.com/tag/daniel-craig/
 
A helluva lot, and nothing. It’s a matter of perspective and each man defining himself as the times change seemingly faster by the hour. 

I was part of the team that came up with the ad campaign for 1800 tequila that asked, “what ever happened to tequila?” Now, two years and one advertising agency later, the campaign revolves around the phrase, “what ever happened to?’. There is one execution focused on men and according to the brand, how soft they’ve become. It’s a timely and multifaceted issue. With so much focus placed on women and their overdue recognition, maybe it’s time that we devote a Guy’s Guy column to exploring how we perceive modern man

Is James Bond a reflection of the social position of men? 

In some ways, you could make that argument. Back in the late eighties Timothy Dalton played a new, more sensitive James Bond. He reflected a softening of the macho side of men. But, after few years he was replaced by a more action oriented Pierce Brosnan. This guy was born to play Bond. Handsome as a devil, suave, smooth, and British.  Bond was now back to where he needed to be.  But was he? In many ways, Brosnan worked for the female moviegoers, but Brosnan did not necessarily connect for men or for Ian Fleming, the writer who created this famous character. More recently a feral Daniel Craig took the reigns as Bond and the franchise was reborn. Yeah, this guy is not so damn pretty and he kicks ass. The point is, our society places men under the microscope, and every time we try to soften them up so they’re more user friendly, those underlying animal qualities are missed and we insist that the inner male again be unleashed.

But what about right now?

In 2012 we are at a crossroads in redefining and reinterpreting men. On one hand we have MMA, misogynistic music, big booty worship, and buzz cuts galore. On the flip side we have metrosexuals, bromances, mantyhose, mangagement rings, he-waxes, guylons, broisery, mandals, and he-tards. What’s going on? It’s all good, but that’s how all over the place we are about men and their changing roles

What can we do?

It helps knowing that women care about guys. But it is up to the individual male to determine his identity. That means being open, but not blindly yielding to outside pressure about how to feel, act, or express himself as a man. Guys can start addressing the craziness by looking inside. It’s the first step in understanding yourself and defining the outside. Just because we live in a crazy, confused world, it is not acceptable for men to “hate” each other or women. It’s about coexistence, not competition. 

It’s not easy, but this is a perfect time for men to step forward and lead by example. Leading is not standing in front of women. It’s standing beside them and respecting all genders, races, and religions. 

As your resident Guy’s Guy, I think that this is a wonderful time for men to be…men. And it’s important that women understand the current assault on masculinity and help their guys behave like men. Women need to be patient, understanding, yet clear in their expectations of the men in their life. 

Are you giving your man the opportunity to be the man you want him to be? 

The Facts Men Need To Face

Robert Manni - Wednesday, May 09, 2012


         

If there was a war between the sexes, it’s over. 

But, I don’t think in those terms. This Guy’s Guy believes that men and women were dropped into this crazy world to love one another. Yes, I know that things can get sticky between the sexes and we’re not on the same page and don’t always play fair with each other, but it’s important to keep that original intention in mind if we want a chance to savor our one short romp around the track.

Bottom line, if it was a contest, in our lifetime women have won, and won big. 

But there is a long way to go before we reach true equality. Men still control the majority of big business (surprisingly less than 10% of CEO’S of the largest 5,000 corporations in the world are women). And according to The Business Insider, Japan is the only global power with a majority of entrepreneurs being female. So there is more work to be done, ladies. Regardless, this is the most important time in herstory for women. Women are not only ascending, they are finally being recognized. Here are some facts that men need to face if we have not yet realized these simple truths. 

1- Women will keep moving forward. Whether it is pursuing their education, financial equality in the workplace, rights to manage their bodies, and their changing roles in relationships women have fought too hard to slow down or take even the slightest step backwards. If men continue to fall behind in all of these areas, that’s show biz. Guys, it’s time to wake up and get it together. According to David Houle, a futurist, with undergraduate percentages of women to men now a respective 60% versus 40%, the future will be a time of even greater change and a tipping of the scales towards women taking charge. Young females are also outperforming the males in standardized testing. Reasons listed include the male absorption of computer games, recruitment to the military, drug use, gangs and more. Of course not all young men fall into this pattern, but the facts are in and young women are kicking butt. 

2- Women don’t want to become men. That’s just not the idea. Women are doing their thing to help themselves and why the heck shouldn’t they. They just want a fair shake and be recognized for what they bring to the table. If I were female I’d be damned if I was going to rely on a man to take care of me. Women have the opportunity and the resources and support to continue to grow and evolve, and they should. In fact, they’ve evolved past the time when they felt they needed to act and behave like men in the workplace to get ahead. Now, they just think like a guy when they need to while not compromising their own femininity, and that’s great news for guys. 

3- Women don’t want men to become women. At the same time, they are not looking to switch places with guys. Go ahead, Brosephine, and pick out a pair of mantyhose if that’s what makes you feel good, but the ladies are not looking to compete with you for best legs in the relationship. The mandals, hewaxing, botox, and too much time in the gym and downing “supplements” are fine if you want to emulate a buffed up Carrot Top, but the women I know say, “No thanks, amigo”. Just be a guy and be supportive of her while doing your thing. And keep growing. That’s all women want from guys now and how bad is that? 

4- Don’t hate. Some bro-bloggers and relationship pundits think that although women are making strides, guys don’t have to evolve even one little bit. Their rationale is that women don’t have any other place to go if they seek a relationship. Although there is a smidgen of truth to this rationale, it basically states that even if men are behaving like jerks, what other options do you have, ladies? That’s hating and it’s low vibration. Does this attitude make the world a better place? 

5- It can be done. I saw this on a little sign perched on a former boss’s desk a long time ago, and although he turned out to be of questionable character, the message resonated. Yes, we live in a crazy topsy-turvy world where everything has become a crapshoot. But, hey, it’s a lot more fun if we face the future as men and women together supporting each other and remaining open-minded about the possibilities. 
Some ask why. 

Your Guy’s Guy asks, “Why not?” Are the guys you know supportive of the continued strides and advances of women?  

A Guys' Guy's Look At Girls' Girls

Robert Manni - Wednesday, May 02, 2012

             

                     Image courtesy of vi.sualize.us       

Just What Is A "Girls' Girl"?

Last week Team GGG2Love nudged your Guy’s Guy following Chelsea Handler’s latest rant about Jennifer Aniston being a “Girl’s Girl” while Angelina Jolie is “the opposite”. I’ll leave out some of her descriptors of the soon to be Ms. Pitt.  Let’s just say that it’s the thought that counts. But it poses an interesting question. If there are Guys’ Guys, why can’t there be Girls’ Girls? Dagnabbit, Team GGG2Love is right again! But I’m no girl and I would not overstep my boundaries at describing what a Girl’s Girl is for women. But, I will do it from the perspective of a Guy’s Guy. Sounds confusing? It’s not. Here’s a snapshot of what Guys’ Guys want in a Girl’s Girl. You can sort it out from there. 

1-    A Girl’s Girl has her own life- She loves being with her man and supports him as he follows his dreams, but she’s no accessory. A Girl’s Girl has her own friends, her own dreams, and her own stuff. She shares it all, but she has earned her independence and it makes her all the more desirable. 
2-    A Girl’s Girl is a friend that you can trust- In the same way dudes can sniff out a phony in their crew; women have an even keener sense of who isn’t trustworthy among their lady-friends. But a Girl’s Girl earns the trust of guys. You can confide in her, knowing that she will keep a secret, even if it is about her friends. If she says she will keep it to herself, she does. Period. Hey, what can I say? I’m an optimist. 
3-    A Girl’s Girl treats your friends respectfully- Most guys have at least one sketchy friend that their girlfriends don’t care for. There are ways of dealing with this, but most of the women I have dated were pretty deft at gracefully elbowing the crazy friend to the side. A Girl’s Girl does not go public with her disapproval. She quietly steers her man away from the “bad” influence. She never confronts the dude in question either. She manages the situation with élan, but she gets the job done.
 4-    A Girl’s Girl doesn’t get roaring drunk and flirt with your buds- We’ve all seen this act before from men and women. A little too much booze and the chains of repression shake loose. Then, it’s on. The result can be cute or mayhem depending on how she handles good old Jim Bean and Jose Cuervo. Bottom line, a Girl’s Girl knows how to manage her booze and her libido…as much as can be expected. 
5-    A Girl’s Girl has cool girlfriends- They say you can judge a person by the company they keep, so it’s only expected that a Girl’s Girl has a nice set of… friends. Maybe they’re hot, maybe not. It doesn’t matter. As long as they are Girls’ Girls, you can have fun hanging with them. And they’ll expect your friends to behave like Guys’ Guys

Guess what? There’s really no difference between a Girl’s Girl and a Guy’s Guy. 

I can handle that. Can you?




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