My Dad just celebrated his 88^th birthday.

To me, he’s the original Guy’s Guy. He taught me about love, family, women and work. He’s been a shining example of being a real man and I thank him for his kindness, wisdom and generosity. My new son, Sky, is five weeks old today. I’ve quickly learned that like my Dad, my son is also my teacher. So, in the spirit of Father’s Day, here are my Guy’s Guy musings on what my little man has already taught me in a few short weeks.

Patience – This is an understatement. Having spent most of my adult life as a self-absorbed, ego-driven selfish lout, it’s taken me a long time—probably longer than most—to learn that life really isn’t all about me. I have renewed respect for my younger male friends who became fathers during their twenties and thirties. I started later and I’m glad, because frankly, I did not have the patience necessary to deal with an infant, their randomness and their directness. Even though I caught Sky in the delivery room, he’s understandably been all about his Mom, and my mother-in-law—who only speaks to Sky in Korean. Are they forging a deal I need to know about? I wait patiently for him to give me a big smile and let me know I’m his Dad.

Paying Attention – My wife gave me a good lesson in this key behavior when we were dating and just when I thought I had passed the test… enter Sky. He insists that I focus all of my attention on him, keep track of the details—like warming that bottle up—and take the initiative for building a lasting bond with him. If not, he will ignore me or cry. I am on point at all times and Sky knows it. Good for him.

Parenting - Whether it’s always keeping him clean or applying his butt paste, I have an endless punch list of ways I can help my wife take care of my son. I assemble and look after the caravan of stuff whenever we take him out for a stroll in the park. He is the last thing I see at night and first thing in the morning, and I never know what’s going through his head. I just do my job and help out as best I can. It’s the least I can do.

Persistence – Since babies are all about need, he lets me know in no uncertain terms when he wants something—food, a change, a hug, a walk, whatever. And he keeps going and going. I’m not one to ignore an infant’s cry. How can I? He only knows one way to let you know that something is wrong. So I try different ways of addressing his need until I find what works. He’s training me well. Bottom line, like all babies, Sky’s engine runs 24/7 and he let’s me know exactly what he wants without any trace of subtext.

Perfection – All of this points to the perfection in babies. They are pure love. You can see it in their eyes. It brings me joy. It keeps me hopeful. Thank you, Sky.

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is my Dad, Serge Manni. Thanks for everything. I hope I’m living up to your example of how to be a man.

What are you thankful for this Father’s Day?

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Image courtesy of NBC Bay Area

I love eating, drinking, and sex.

They say all good things come in moderation. I agree, except when it comes to sex, but that’s for another post. This one is about living a fit life. I’m no fitness expert, but I just ran the 6.2-mile loop around Central Park for the third time this week and have logged three marathons. I know what’s worked for me. You can decide if it works for you. Here are a few concepts to consider, Guy’s Guy style.

1. You are what you eat. You’ve heard this a thousand times for a reason—it’s true. I’m not going for the deep dive, but studies have shown that all sickness and disease comes from your gut, so you'd better think about what you consume. In today’s world, eating and food are very different concepts than they were thirty years ago. GMO’s, pesticides, weird chemical additives, and all that disguised sugar can lead to a big gut and a heavy heart. How do we manage this while eating three times a day? First, consider eating six small meals a day to keep your metabolism humming. Ultimately, it boils down to consistently making mindful choices. Like many guys, I’m a snacker and I turn to food as a crutch. Plus, I’m Italian so I can’t escape people offering me food. The solution? Each time I sit down and stop and think before shoving food into my face.

2. Go easy on the meat. As we age, our metabolism slows, so digestion takes longer. That succulent porterhouse stays in your system a lot longer when you’re over forty. I stopped eating beef, lamb and pork six years ago and finally dropped poultry this year. Why? My body was telling me that I had enough, so I turned to fish, veggies and fruit and I’ve never looked back. I became ill about a month after cutting out meat, but I was told that this was a result of my cells detoxing. Bottom line, I have more energy and I don’t miss eating meat.

3. Walk. Although I walked to and from school while growing up, I never realized the pleasures of a good stroll until I moved to New York. If you really want to catch the vibe of this great city, walk. I mean walk everywhere. When I first moved to New York in the eighties, each Sunday I’d walk from my flat on West 34^th Street to Chinatown for lunch and then back to Midtown. I’d take a different route each time and it gave me a great taste of what was a very different Manhattan.

4. Run. If your body allows you the pleasure of a good run, just do it. There is nothing like that long, sloping loop around Central Park or a jog along the boards at the beach. I bring running shoes when I travel because running helps reset your internal clock to prevent jet lag and it’s a great way to get the flavor of another city. And, I worked out my entire novel in my head while running back and forth from Asbury Park to Spring Lake. Plus, you need to maintain some semblance of fitness if you run.

5. Sleep. There is nothing like a good night’s sleep, but in today’s noisy world, sleeping soundly has become more of a rare feat than something that comes naturally. That’s why when you feel tired and you have time to catch a few zzz’s, it’s a good idea to nap. I never was a napper until I hit forty. Now I grab some shuteye when my body tells me to, and when my schedule allows. I’m still a night owl, but I do my best to not watch TV in bed. I also keep a calm environment in the bedroom and have lots of sex.

We’ve only scratched the surface on fitness, but I think if you follow these general adages, you will create a foundation for a healthy lifestyle and good health.

Are you doing what you can to maintain a fit body and mind?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Fauja Singh, (the Turban Tornado), recently retired 101 year old world’s oldest marathoner.

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Life in the Big Apple has been polished under Mayor Bloomberg.

The smoking ban in public spaces is a major success, the parks are more picturesque and utilitarian than ever, people automatically scoop up their dog poop, and the influx of tourist dollars into the city is at an all time high. Sounds pretty good. But, that’s skimming the surface. Here is my Guys' Guy's Guide to polishing the Big Apple—my list of suggestions to further upgrade our lives in the big city.  Some of these concepts have been discussed and dissected, but they are worth a closer look from a common sense perspective.

1. Ban All Motorized Vehicular Traffic in Central Park.  The biking and jogging lanes have been significantly expanded, but New Yorkers are still forced to dodge speeding taxis and private limo services as they speed through the park throughout the day. There are numerous cross streets where these vehicles can cut through the park form the outside without snaking their way inside the park while polluting the air and endangering pedestrians, joggers, and bikers. We are diluting our quality of life to save a minute’s time for speeding taxis. Really? Hey, Mr. Mayor—which is more dangerous, enjoying a large soft drink or sprinting to avoid being run down by a taxi? At least ninety percent of the motorized vehicles in the park are taxis. Ridiculous.

2. Drop the Big Soda Ban Legislature. This well-intended law was justly shot down in court at the eleventh hour and is still being debated. This law is misguided. Sure, sugary drinks are bad, but why draw a line in the sand at 16 ounces? That’s not going to cure obesity and diabetes. People will find a way to get their fix. Do we ban soda, ice cream, Oreo cookies and pre-sweetened cereal? Educating the population to the dangers of sugar is a timely concept. Choosing one size of one product and ostracizing it is lunacy.

3. Require GMO Labeling for Foods in NYC. This is a better idea than a 16-ounce soda ban. Our mayor is known for suggesting bold moves to protect our health. What about GMO’s? Let’s discuss requiring labeling of all products that contain GMO’s that are sold in New York. It would be a true show of leadership by the most forward-thinking, sophisticated city in the world. Could it work? It’s worth a deep discussion. Nothing will slow the onslaught of GMO’s until our leaders take a stand. Washington? Forget it. How about it, Mr. Mayor?

4. Stop Serving Alcohol at 2am. Maybe I’m getting old, but having spent many a long evening in our city bars, I assure you that only a few things happen when people continue drinking for two more hours between two and four am. You either get totally wasted, argue meaningless sports trivia, get into a fight, or wake up next to a woman named Brenda who looked far better at three o’clock than at ten in the morning.

5. Upgrade Weekend Subway Service. Now that we have to cash in our 401K’s to ride in a taxi, the subways are teeming with people 24/7. The advent of the $1 penalty for replacing your Metro Card has generated a boon in revenue. Yet our weekend service flat out sucks. Weekends are cherished times for hard working New Yorkers. Who wants to spend an extra hour underground waiting hopefully that the C train will show up and be running local? You get the picture.

I could continue about overflowing trash bins, subway acrobats blasting music and dangerously swinging around poles, bike riders on the sidewalks, but I’ll save that for another post.

What are your ideas for improving the quality of life in our fair city?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Mayor Bloomberg. He’s well intended and has improved our quality of life, but he has a long way to go before he leaves office. Be bold, Mr. Mayor! Be a Guy’s Guy.

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Being a Guy’s Guy is not all sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

Reading keeps us in touch with our inner selves and reminds us of our collective connection to the universal consciousness. I’ve read hundreds of books in all genres, but I’m called back by great stories about regular people finding their paths and enlightenment and books about energy and spirituality.  Life speeds by in a flash, and it’s important to take a breather now and then and ask ourselves why the hell we're here, what really matters and how we can enjoy the ride. There are many well-deserving books that are not included, but the following features a handful of practical, thought provoking and well-written tomes with deep insights and positive messages. I hope you will find an opportunity to read a few of them. You will not be disappointed.  In no particular order I humbly offer, The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Spiritual Books.

1. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. This is one of my all-time favorite books of any genre.  I was walking through a bookstore about ten years ago and this little book literally stopped me in my tracks. I picked it up, began reading and purchased it. I’ve read it several times and it convinced me to study hypnosis. I am now an advanced clinical Master Hypnotist. It’s fast, practical, easy to read and chock full of advice about self-hypnosis, staying positive and trusting your inner self. Sounds like bullshit? It’s not.

2. Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain.  A classic New Age helper in seeing, believing and making it happen. Another easy to digest book that packs a punch and a reminder about how we choose our paths and determine our outcomes. Inspirational.

3. The Healing Energy of Your Hands by Michael Bradford. If you want to learn how to manipulate energy for healing, this is the one book to read. Filled with easy exercises and demonstrations, you can learn how to work with the flow of energy to heal and stay healthy. This book inspired me to study Reiki. I am now a Reiki Master/Teacher. It’s that good.

4. The Book of Love and Creation by Paul Selig. This is the second of what will be three contributions about tapping into universal love through the, “I Am” presence. Guides channeled these texts through Paul. The passages are uplifting, powerful, and filled with love. I highly recommend these books to anyone interested in raising their frequency.

5. The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hahn. This one takes compassion and mindfulness into our everyday practical lives and into the halls of government and business. The mindfulness trainings alone are worth the price of admission. Great reading, especially if you have a foolish boss.

6. Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss, Ph.D. This pioneer in energy medicine expert explores how energy is encoded in our physical vessels and how we can read the signals and take positive steps in managing our spiritual and physical health.

7. Three Magic Words by Uell S. Anderson. If you read or watched the video of “The Secret” you will want to read this book. It strips out the pizzazz and gets down to how our conscious and subconscious minds determine our course of actions and outcomes. You will learn how to eliminate negativity and stay the course in practical terms and through a series of meditative exercises.

8. Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss, MD. If you have ever wondered what past life regression is and how it works, this is the book for you. As a hypnotist, I’ve explored past life regression and found that it to be an interesting way to learn more about who we are and what’s inside. Very easy reading as it follows one case from beginning to end. A page-turner.

9. Your Sacred Self by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Yes you’ve seen him on PBS and might think he’s merely a curator of other people’s findings. That said, he makes a lot of sense and he’s taken his game to another level over the past few years. I found this early book to be an excellent primer for learning how to tap into the power of our higher selves and others for self-improvement.

10. The Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard. Touted by Dr. Dyer, this little gem dives into the power of the “I Am” with forays into consciousness, creation, acceptance, and righteousness. Another book devoted to teaching us how we are all connected via a universal consciousness. In other yours, we all are God.

While buzzing along with your career, are you taking time to read and reflect on what’s really important in life?

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Brad Pitt for his support of his partner Angelina Jolie, one of the world’s most beautiful and boldest women. We wish her good health and love.

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Guy’s Guys love television.

It’s part of our DNA. After a day at work or a long run, it’s great to kick back and unwind in front of the tube. That doesn’t mean we’re couch potatoes. Guy’s Guys are active and well informed about the news and pop culture. But, we believe in pacing ourselves and television is a great way to tune in or tune out. Fortunately, with the advent of so many cable channels, the quality of television has risen over the past decade. It’s a writer’s medium.

There have been countless great Guy’s Guy shows over the years, but here is a short list of nuggets culled from over thirty years of staring at a screen that has increased in size, clarity and definition. You can learn a lot about a man by what he watches on television. If he’s addicted to HSN and DWTS, you may want to rethink your relationship. Criteria? The shows must feature guys, demonstrate imagination, and be great for viewing with a hangover. So in no particular order I offer you The Guys’ Guy’s Guide To Great TV Shows.

1.    Mr. Ed - A horse is a horse of course of course. What Guy’s Guy wouldn’t want a talking horse? Mr. Ed was sarcastic, clever, and always helped his owner, Wilbur, get out of jams. Best episode? Mr. Ed tries out for the Los Angeles Dodgers and hits a home run by sliding into home plate. Are you kidding me?

2.    Entourage - Four young bucks take on Hollywood. Sex, drugs, rock n roll and lots of hot women. The cast had chemistry and they knew enough to end the series before it jumped the shark. Most memorable character? Ari, hands down. He gobbled up the screen.  “LLOYD!!!”

3.    The Sopranos - I’m from North Jersey. Got a problem with that? There is an actually a Bada Bing club and Jersey has never been portrayed so truthfully as gangster lifestyle blurs the suburban landscape. I met James Gandolfini in a bar in MePa after season one and drank with him for two hours. When I asked the key to being a great actor, he pointed to his heart and said, “It’s gotta come from here.” True story.

4.   Miami Vice - Talk about changing the game. This Michael Mann production ignited South Beach’s restoration from the doldrums. This was the first show that integrated music into the storylines and it featured so many up and coming actors in guest spots. Remember Frank Zappa playing a coke dealer? How about Bruce Willis and Willie Nelson? The cast? Perfecto. Lieutenant Castillo? Incredible. A true, no-nonsense Guy’s Guy.

5.   Californication - How could your Guy’s Guy not love a bawdy series about a drunken, horn dog novelist who moves from NYC to LA in search of fame and fortune? David Duchovny nails his role as Hank Moody, the writer who takes on the world, and a lot of gorgeous women. Hilarious. But after seven seasons is the show is beginning to lose it way?

6.   The Three Stooges - Mission critical viewing in frat houses across America. For some reason three little guys hitting one another with fish, hammers, and nail guns provides a great release for men in need of balls out laughs. With respect to Shep and Joe Besser, I’m a Curly fan.

7.    Charlie Rose - This man is like a porpoise. He has no shut off switch. He’s on the morning news and an evening interview show on PBS. When does he sleep? And he asks really good questions. Let’s toast our Red Bull to this tireless, brilliant newsman and interviewer. Love the black backdrop. Someday, Charlie, someday…

8.    The Odd Couple - Possibly the ultimate Guy’s Guy show. An advertising neat freak moves in with a lovable sportswriter slob. Instant conflict. Instant laughs, and adult stories that any New Yorker can relate to. I prefer the TV show to the movies, because the show stayed fresh and kept growing on me. I cannot recall a boring episode. That’s special.

9.    The Wild Wild West - There has to be one western adventure shoot em up on the list. Robert Conrad plays James West, secret agent in the 1860’s. Pretty cool concept for the 1960’s. His partner, Artemus Gordon plays a master of lame disguises, but the show is purposely over the top as the two agents travel by train across the west solving federal conspiracies. And who can forget a three-foot tall arch villain named Dr. Miquelito Lopez? Classic!

10.  ESPN's SPORTSCENTER - Guy’s Guys love sports and as annoying as this show can be, it is the first of its kind and remains the gold standard for sports info and highlights. There a innumerable versions and spin offs now, but it’s reassuring that when you need a score for your fantasy league or just want a shot of seeing someone drain a three point shot, Sports Center continues to deliver. 

Well kids, that’s but a sampling of some of the favorite Guys’ Guy’s favorite television shows. So next time you are wondering just who the heck is this man I’m sitting next to look at what shows he’s watching and you may find out that he is in fact a Guy’s Guy. Or not.

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Philo Farnsworth, whom many credit with inventing the television.

Is Your Guy A Guy’s Guy?

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Whether it’s about love, sex, dating or relationships spring is the perfect time for Guy’s Guys to take stock of who they are and where they want to be. Summer, the beach, and bikini weather is right around the corner.  And as the temperature rises, the skirts get shorter. You know the rest. Why reassess? Because it’s healthy, it will keep you on your path, and it could motivate you to connect with some great women. Here are five quick things to keep Guy’s Guys moving forward this spring.

1. Review your contacts.

Like a big old bear, it’s easy to hibernate during the winter. Same old, same old. And it can carry over to your dating life. Oh, it’s Friday night again? Let's hit the same sports bar and ogle the same women. You have your go-to hook ups, but are you really accomplishing anything beyond sharing a few laughs, watching every college football bowl game, and chilling with your buds and a friend with benefits? Ask yourself: is this the best you can do? If the answer is no, take stock in where you are versus your goals—in your career, fitness, or relationships and get cracking. If you find that your lady friends are locked into in the friend zone, then maybe it’s time to dust off your online dating profile. There are many, many fish in the sea, amigo, and that means lots of lovely ladies looking for nice guys. Don’t let your profile get stale and don’t stay posted-up for too long. Take a breather now and then before getting climbing back in the saddle.

Like a big old bear, it's easy to hibernate during the winter. Oh, it's Friday night again? Let's hit up the same sports bar and ogle the same women. You have your go-to hookups, but are you really accomplishing anything beyond sharing a few laughs, watching every college football bowl game, and chilling with your buds and a friend with benefits? Ask yourself: is this the best you can do? If the answer is "no," take stock in where you are versus where you want to be—your career, fitness or relationship goals; and get crackin'. If you find that your lady friends are locked into the dreaded friend zone, maybe it's time to dust off your online dating profile. There are many, many fish in the sea, amigo, and that means lots of lovely ladies looking for nice guys. Don't let your profile get stale, and don't stay posted-up for too long. Take a breather now and then before climbing back in the saddle.

Maybe you've maintained your comfort zone by sharing a relationship with someone you like, but don't like enough. This relationship is more than friends with benefits, but it's become a convenience for both of you. You know something is missing. Hey, knocking boots is fun, but if either the sex or the conversation is lacking, it may be time for the talk. Be a gentleman, but consider moving on.

Sickness begins in the gut. Trust me or do your own research; you'll see that I'm right. And our tendency is to consume lots of comfort food and drink during those cold, dark months. Now that the weather's warm and you want to be active, reassess what you're ingesting. Like a lot of single guys, I've gone through phases where I've sustained myself on ketchup and beer and canned soup. We're creatures of habit. If you can't cut the junk and your small-batch bourbon, at least add fruits and veggies and water to your daily intake. You'll see a difference in your mood and in your waistline. Plus, the ladies notice what you eat and what it does to your body. Just sayin'.

This is a marathon, not a sprint so you've got time to adapt. Spring is the perfect time to take a deep breath, shift gears and try something new. And whatever you do, don't let the media or your friends and family play the fear card with you. Take life by the cajones. There's really nothing to fear but fear itself. Meet lots of new women, reassess your lifestyle and diet, eliminate people and situations that are no longer useful, and chill. Live your life to the fullest. Now that's being a Guy's Guy.

Guy's Guy of The Week: the newest member of the Guy's Guy family—my newborn son, Sky Manni.

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We’re at a critical juncture for redefining men and bridging the communications gap between the sexes.

It’s ironic that with all of our technology, communication between men and women has never been in such a dire state. Over the past thirty years the paths of women and men have changed dramatically. While women have been on straight trajectory of achievement, accomplishment, and long overdue recognition, men find themselves in a tough spot. Although men have never been freer to be whomever they want, it’s also never been less clear who they are. Women are on the move and men refuse to change. There is resentment, a lack of empathy and understanding on both sides. We’re heading in different directions. Enter the Guy’s Guy.

So, What Is A Guy’s Guy?

A Guy’s Guy is a contemporary Man’s Man—a nod to the return of the casual confidence and seductive integrity of the classic male, updated to reflect a belief that everybody wins when men and women can be at their best. A Guy’s Guy welcomes the rise of women, yet competes with them for love, sex, power and money in a time when everyone plays for keeps. Guy’s Guys exude unassuming strength, timeless style, and emotional intelligence. They seek healthy relationships and joyful living. Today’s Guy’s Guy has moved light-years beyond the time when men gave lip service to feminism while struggling to see women beyond the kitchen and the bedroom. Guy’s Guys consider women equal in all ways and treat them respectfully. They don’t patronize women for sex and it’s game on in business with no glass ceilings. 

Why Do Guy’s Guy Matter?

Men are in crisis and risk falling behind if they don’t evolve. How can young men learn what it means to be a man in this rapidly evolving society when they receive such conflicting signals about masculinity that leave them caught between the roid-rage messages of MMA and the tinted moisturizing of manscaping? With Hollywood’s one-dimensional preening power studs, metrosexuals, geeks, and superheroes as role models, many young men are left adrift. Middle-age men fare no better. Traditionally defined by their jobs, the ascension of women and the tough economy has changed everything. Women, more self-sufficient and on the move, will not slow down or step aside to accommodate men’s out of step ideas and constructs. Men need to re-examine their roles and be open to new possibilities where they share the wealth and the burdens. It’s not just up to the men; women need to pitch in as well. Women can help usher in positive change through empathy and understanding as men learn to redefine themselves.

So What’s Next?

This is a wake up call, not a death sentence for men. You’ll find today’s open-minded Guys’ Guys everywhere—learning as they navigate a challenging environment. For a Guy’s Guy, there’s never been a better time to be a man. When men and women can be at their best, everyone wins. Right?

Our Guy's Guy of the Week is John Stuart Mill, a 19th century proponent of women's rights.

Is Your Guy A Guy’s Guy?

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